


Falling Apart, but we can still pull ourselves Together Again

by crazysnakey



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Blood, Character Death, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Everyone's just trying their best, Flashbacks, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jabberwock Island (Dangan Ronpa), M/M, Memories, Panic Attacks, Post-Super Dangan Ronpa 2, Rare Pairings, Trans Hinata Hajime, a lot of it is hajime trying to wake up his friends and reminiscing, anyways hop in y'all for a ride if you wanna, at times - Freeform, but everyone wakes up, everyone's got feels abt stuff okay, gundham and ibuki are siblings, hajime and izuru are sort of sharing and coexisting, hinadam, it's gundham and hajime fight me, kazuichi learns to tone it down with sonia after a while, or maybe not, some characters are mainly in memories or flashbacks here, some of the characters may not be as focused on as others, thank fuck - Freeform, this is right after the game, yep, yes you heard me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24775729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazysnakey/pseuds/crazysnakey
Summary: Hajime and the other survivors have awakened from the Neo World Program, but things aren't over. Everyone's dealing with the traumas of what they went through and what they did under the influence of despair while trying to wake up their remaining comatose classmates, and Hajime, while dealing with sharing with his alter-ego Izuru, is constantly hounded by flashbacks and memories of the time spent in the program with his friends, especially a certain animal breeder, while trying to wake them all up.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Everyone, Hinata Hajime/Tanaka Gundham, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Platonic Relationships - Relationship
Comments: 28
Kudos: 173





	1. Waking Up

It was falling apart.

Crumbling.

Glowing.

Disappearing. Fading?

"Man, it's collapsing..."

"Um... Even if we awaken in the real world and forget what transpired here...

...It will still have meaning, right?"

"Of course, Miss Sonia! I don't know the proper way to say this, but... I kinda feel the same way as you too!"

"You're so bad at saying grand things... Now that we've reached the end, you should at least try a little harder!"

"Hey! People can't change that easily, y'know!"

"It's not the end though, right?"

"Yeah, I know. But regardless of that, it all depends on us now."

...

"Time's almost up."

...

"I'm pretty scared, you guys."

"I as well..."

"But that's okay, y'know? It makes sense to feel scared about these sorta things, right?"

"THAT'S THE FUTURE!"

...

"Hey, I'll never forget you guys, or the others! So you guys better not forget me too, y'hear?! My name... is Kazuichi Souda!"

"Hah! With all your colorful personalities, there's no way I'll forget you guys that easily!"

"Even if I forget... I will use all my might and remember!"

"Yeah, me too! And if you start talkin' or actin' weird later, Hajime, I'll beat you up till you go back to normal!"

"That's a relief... But make sure you hold back as much as you can, okay?"

...

Everything's turning white.

...

"Thank you, Chiaki..."

Phew... Finally managed to say it, right before the end.

...

Me too... Thank you.

I'll never, ever forget about you guys.

I'll be cheering for you guys from now on...

Cuz... We're friends, after all.

...Goodbye.

\-----

White.

White.

Whitewhitewhitewhitewhitewhitewhitewhitewhit-

...

...Green?

\-----

The first thing Hajime saw after everything glowed and faded into white was a faint green blur directly all over in front of him.

Tentatively he reached out with his hand, only to meet something flat above him blocking him. Glass. He was in some kind of human-sized capsule- where he'd been plugged into the... Neo World Program.

He thumped his hands against the glass a few times to indicate that he's awake, for someone to open this thing and _let him out_ -

And with a long sound of _psssshhhhhhh_ , the glass cover opened, lifting above and staying there, in a fixed position overhead.

He tried to move to get up, to get out, when his body abruptly jolted, as though all his muscles had been short-circuited. His body awkwardly fell from its half-raised position back onto the cushion inside the pod.

 _Damn... I feel so... different somehow... My body feels kind of sore..._ Well, if what he'd heard about being plugged into the Neo World Program was true, he'd been lying down unmoving for about a month...

He remembered, distantly, someone who he felt very hateful towards - that blonde girl with the pigtails, what was her name? Whatever. He remembered her saying something about how he and his friends could choose to stay dead and happy, or wake up and let her take over his classmates. She could've taken over his friends' bodies and imitated them perfectly, and they would've been none the wiser, she could have imitated _him_ perfectly and he wouldn't have realized- Fear took hold of him for a moment before remembering that they'd chosen to- to shut it down instead, even though he was told that he'd- he'd what, again? Something... something about...?

Now that he thought about other things at the moment, though, Hajime realized that he was still himself. He was Hajime Hinata, and he was here. He hadn't disappeared, despite everyone telling him that that was what was inevitably going to happen.

Wait, what? He was going to disappear? Why would he even-

Disa…ppear...

Jun ko

Eno shi ma

Ul mate  
ti

pair  
Des

...

Oh. Right.

Something really bad... and... despair...

Hajime really hated that word.

He made another attempt to pull himself out of the pod again, succeeding this time. His feet touched the cold metallic floor and a shiver ran up along the length of his body. As he reoriented himself, he looked around. The room he was standing in was circular, with several screens mounted along the walls. A bunch of other pods, just like his own, were on the ground arranged in a circle along the room, most of which were closed with bodies inside them.

Hajime began walking around the room aimlessly as his memories from the Neo World Program gradually returned. What was he supposed to do now? He remembered the field trip, Usami appearing, Monokuma taking over, the killing game, the murders, the executions, Ultimate Despair, finding out the truth about their situation, the shutdown - it all came back to him in a gradual flurry. But he still felt as though he was missing something - some last piece of the puzzle.

He noticed something shining to the side and turned, only to freeze and have everything in his head screech to a halt. In front of him, on the wall, was a mirror. But what he was focused on was what was being shown on it.

Reflected on the mirror was a person, but it was someone he had never seen before. They wore a black suit with matching black pants and a black tie to top it all off - but what caught Hajime's attention was the person's face. They had long black hair that reached down in thick tendrils to the ground, and their eyes were a bright, empty red.

**_Boring._ **

It simultaneously felt like finding the last piece of the puzzle and breaking apart, cracks forming at the edge of his mind. The remaining memories flooded through - Junko laughing at him, telling him how he'd been the one to bring her into the Neo World Program and kicked off the Killing School Trip, the Hope Cultivation plan that Hope's Peak Academy had come up with, how they'd messed with him and used him, telling him he'd disappear and become an apathetic, unfeeling shell of a person.

Hajime felt as though his heart had stopped. This was what he had become? He'd just wanted talent, to be confident in himself, and yet- Hope's Peak Academy had used him like this? Done something like this to him? He felt sick. He felt disgusted. He felt as though he couldn't breathe.

In fact, he _couldn't_ breathe. Without realizing it, he'd gotten more frantic, his breaths coming out in short huffs and gasps. But even though he was aware of it now, he couldn't calm down. Everything was coming at him at once, and it was too much - it was piling up all over him.

_The Tragedy, the whole world, oh God, I, I--_

Death, death, so much death everywhere, suffering, pain - Unfeeling red eyes, a devious, cruel smile--

_You're Izuru Kamukura, the mastermind behind **all** of this._

He seized at his- ~~NO IT'S NOT MINE~~ -hair, pulling and tearing strands of it which fell on the floor. _They used me, they took away my identity, my self-autonomy! Why did they- No, why did **I** fall for it?! Why was I the one used for it?! WHY ME?! WhywhywhywhywhywhyWHY--_

He felt something warm run down one side of his face, then again on the other side of his face. He slowly put a hand to his face and felt something wet - looking up at his reflection, he saw that he was crying.

He grabbed his face in his hands, teeth gritted, and sank to the floor, not even finding the energy to try holding himself up anymore. He could see blood everywhere, dead bodies turning and staring, reaching out for him- _It's all your fault, it's all your fault_ \--

"No," he murmured, curled up on the ground, still holding his head. "Nonononononononono NO! NO!! That wasn't me! IT'S NOT ME!!"

Distantly he registered footsteps and the noises that indicated a pod was opening, along with the sound of a door, but he was too far gone in his anguish to react.

All the noise registered to him as though his head was underwater - garbled and muffled but still comprehensible. He heard his friends' - his fellow survivors' - voices speak up, confused and disoriented, asking questions. He heard some vaguely familiar voices calming them down and reassuring them that it was alright. HA! Alright? _Alright?!?_

He heard a pair of footsteps get louder as they neared him, and careful arms pulled him up and helped him steady himself, as he was slowly led out of the room with the others, who looked at him bewildered and afraid. His eyes roved around glassily, taking in information without processing it.

They were led along to the cottages to rest and come to terms with all that had happened to them.

\-----

Once they were safely settled for now in their cottages, Makoto, Kyoko and Byakuya met up to discuss what to do next.

"Do you... think they'll be okay?" asked Makoto worriedly.

"They've gone through an extremely traumatic and disorienting ordeal - it will probably get worse especially when they remember more of their time as Ultimate Despair before they can get better," said Kyoko, objective as always in these matters. "It'll be very rocky and tough, but if they manage to accept it and get through it, they'll do alright."

Makoto looked down at the ground. Still, they'd wanted to help the Ultimate Despair, yet Junko with that virus of hers had come back and upended everything even after having executed herself.

As though he could read his mind, Byakuya voiced exactly what Makoto had been thinking. "Still, things ended up more chaotic than expected. Even dead, Junko made trouble for us. We may have stopped her, but more than half the Ultimate Despair are comatose and we have no idea if they'll wake up. And Makoto, this was your idea. Don't freak out now, when we've pretty much made it to the end."

"I wasn't freaking out, I was just worried." replied Makoto. "I mean, seeing how they were when they woke up, especially Hajime..."

The three of them paused, remembering the screams they'd heard while heading to the room with the pods and the sight they'd stumbled upon entering. Hajime, still having the appearance of who they now knew to be Izuru, crying and hyperventilating, curled up on the ground, a near incoherent mess. The others, still just waking up out of the pods, confused and disoriented. Out of everyone, Hajime had probably gotten things the hardest - used by Hope's Peak Academy, lobotomized, losing his memories, emotions and identity, being responsible for the Tragedy and Killing School Trip along with Junko, and having all that revealed to him in the program along with the fact that he would most likely disappear. Yet he had managed to push Junko back and pull himself back up. But that strength could only last for so long, with the reality of things.

"It won't be easy," started Kyoko. "But after all they've been through, perhaps they can face their final obstacles - themselves, and push through. Of course, that's mostly up to them. For now though, we'll be staying here a while before we return just to help them out at the start with all this."

"We also need to work on those who are still comatose." muttered Byakuya, adjusting his glasses.

"Yeah," nodded Makoto. "Kyoko, Byakuya... Thank you so much for trusting me and going with me on this, even though you didn't have to..."

"Hey now," smiled Kyoko. "Don't get all emotional yet, it's not over. There's still much to be done."

"Yeah, you're right."

Sitting in their cottages, each of the survivors tried to remember and handle themselves, eventually going to varying degrees of sleep. But it wasn’t over. Not by far. For them, it was only the end of one thing and the beginning of another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo y'all, this took me a while to work out, but I finally got it. This is just the first chapter, so it may not be the most nuanced but eh, Hajime's breakdown scene was honestly enough to fill this for me here. (HEH HEH HEH HEH I FEED OFF THEIR PAIN AND SUFFERING). YES I GOT TIRED OF THE LACK OF HINADAM CONTENT AND FINALLY DECIDED TO MAKE SOME MYSELF. I feel like one of those tumblr posts about fanfics now, thanks y'all. I hope any of you who read this likes it so far. I'm actually working on like 3 other fic rn so I might not update this soon, but believe me IT IS NOT ABANDONED AND IT WON'T BE. Anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk.


	2. Emerging

Makoto knocked on one of the cottage doors. “Hajime? Are you awake?” There was no response or sound from inside. He waited a few minutes before moving on.

Deciding to hold off on Hajime for now, Makoto walked towards another one of the inhabited cottages and knocked there too. “Kazuichi? I know you’re in there, are you awake?” There were shifting noises and a muffled groan from inside. Makoto waited patiently for a few minutes before the door slowly opened.

Kazuichi eyed him through the crack in the doorway, one hand clutching his beanie for comfort, his eyes shadowed. Even in the shade of the cottage, Makoto could see his skin was paler than normal. Kazuichi looked at Makoto quietly, waiting.

“Ah,” started Makoto. A part of him hadn’t expected Kazuichi to open. “Kazuichi, you’ve been in there for a while. I understand what you’ve gone through and that it won’t be easy to deal with, but… you should come out now. Don’t you think it’s been long enough? Being like this… I get it, really, but it’s not going to change anything.”

Kazuichi stared at him tiredly for a minute. Makoto held his gaze, imploring. Eventually Kazuichi murmured hoarsely, “Alright, just… gi-gimme a minute, okay?”

Yes! Makoto beamed, nodding. “Sure. Take as long as you need, you deserve that. But actually come out of your cottage today, alright?” Kazuichi nodded, before closing the door.

With that, Makoto strolled over the swimming pool, casting one last glance back at the two cottages whose inhabitants had yet to come out, letting out a sigh. They’d come out… eventually…

It had been five days since the survivors of the Killing School Trip had awoken, and so far they’d spent most of their time shut in their cottages, none of them coming out save for Akane and Fuyuhiko. Makoto found himself having to bring them food and water and trying to encourage them, though it seemed none of them had been particularly roused, except for Kazuichi today.

For now though, he needed to see how Kyoko was doing so far with those that had already come out of their cottages. She was standing in front of the hotel, waiting. Makoto walked over to her. “Hey, Kyoko. How are they doing so far?” The ‘they’ referred to Fuyuhiko and Akane.

“Akane’s doing well so far, she’s gorging herself in the dining hall right now. But we still need to work out how to deal with Fuyuhiko carefully without risk, since we don’t exactly have the necessary devices or skills needed to take his eye out without creating possible damage.”

Akane and Fuyuhiko had been the only two that were forced to come out of their cottages - Akane because she had starved herself in despair to a living corpse. When she had come out of the pod, she had to be supported and helped to her cottage to rest after the ordeal - she had been quite literally skin stretched over bones, and the way her eyes had bulged out of her face, along with her sallow complexion… Makoto shivered just thinking about it. This was what Junko’s despair drove people to do…?

As for Fuyuhiko, he had taken Junko’s eye from what had been her corpse, and implanted it in his own eye socket, to ‘see’ despair through her eyes, and keep some piece of her alive. So he had to come out as well, so they could discuss what to do about that. He’d told them unequivocally that he wanted Junko’s eye out, and they’d agreed, telling him they’d do it as soon as they managed to find a safe measure. The best candidate for such a thing would’ve been Mikan Tsumiki, the Ultimate Nurse, but she was currently comatose. She had killed two people in the program and subsequently been executed.

“Well, I managed to get Kazuichi to possibly come out, so that’s a win,” said Makoto. “But Hajime and Sonia are still…” He shook his head.

“I see,” murmured Kyoko, putting a finger to her chin. “Three out of five so far. Clearly it’s going to take some more for them to come out.” Makoto had no idea if Kyoko was referring to time, attempts at talking to them, or both.

“Well, for now, we should focus on Kazuichi,” she said, eyeing something behind Makoto. He turned around to see Kauichi slowly walking towards them. The man in question was groggy, squinting and rubbing at his eyes with his hands, the light blinding him, having been shut in his cottage for a few days straight. Now that he was out in the open, Makoto noticed a lot more about him. For one, his hair was all mussed up and greasy, indicating he hadn’t taken a shower during his time in his cottage. There were large bags under his eyes and his cheekbones were prominent on his face. There were also several self-inflicted scars and gashes on his arms, clearly done to himself during his time in despair. It was clear he wasn’t faring well right now, but it was a start.

Kyoko walked past Makoto, telling him, “I’m heading to Byakuya to check on how things are going with the Future Foundation. I’d recommend you take Kazuichi up to the dining hall.” She nodded at Kazuichi as she passed by him, to which he held up a hand tiredly in a wave.

Finally, he came before Makoto, who smiled at him. “I’m glad to see you’ve come out. Let’s head up to the dining hall, alright? Akane and Fuyuhiko are there right now.” Kazuichi nodded numbly and headed up the stairs alongside him.

The dining hall was open, with its lights on. Akane and Fuyuhiko sat in one of the tables in the middle of the room, a huge spread of food laid out. Akane was hungrily shoving food into her mouth at an unbelievably fast rate, the noises of her chewing audible. She was eating so fast Makoto was surprised she could even breathe in between. Kazuichi didn't react, already used to her eating habits. Fuyuhiko sat next to her, also eating, though at a much more... normal rate. He was leaning away slightly from Akane as to not get bits of food on him, telling her to be more careful of her eating and that chunks of food were flying everywhere.

They both turned to face Makoto and Kazuichi as they entered, the stairs creaking to announce their entrance. Akane said what was probably a greeting to them, but the food in her mouth made it garbled and unintelligible. Fuyuhiko simply muttered out, “Yo. Glad to see you’ve come out, too.”

Kazuichi sat on the table with them and took a plate of food, while Makoto told them he’d have to go to check on some other things along Kyoko and Byakuya, and then left.

Kazuichi looked down at the plate of food in front of him, a fork in one hand, but couldn’t really bring himself to actually eat. Even when Makoto had left plates of food on the doorstep of his cottage, he’d never eaten everything on it. He couldn’t bring himself to, with everything that he had remembered, especially the things he did under Junko...

“Hey, dumbass, why aren’t you eating?” came Fuyuhiko’s voice.

Kazuichi looked up, before looking back to his food. Truth be told, he knew he should eat. He knew he had to eat. But, still, he just...

“Look, I get what you’re thinking.” His head snapped up at those words, blinking at Fuyuhiko. Fuyuhiko looked back at him as though he was stupid. That was strangely comforting, in a way. As though things were almost normal - Fuyuhiko treating him like an idiot, Akane obsessing over food, the usual. Fuyuhiko went on, “It’s absolutely fucking awful, the shit we did. But, and I hate to say this, we can’t take it back. The damage is irreversible. But that doesn’t mean we have to let ourselves fall apart in it. If anything, it means we have to move forward, to help atone for this and do our best to rectify it. I mean, after all we’ve gone through, to just give up and wallow in… _despair_ …” he said it with a disgusted tone, the three of them wincing at the word. “It would just waste everything we’ve done so far in the program to get to here. And… I wouldn’t be able to face Peko, if that…” Fuyuhiko trailed off, but it was clear to everyone what he was saying.

Akane and Kazuichi both stared at Fuyuhiko, shock etched all over their faces. Akane had even stopped in the middle of her eating, her hands filled with food frozen halfway on the path to her mouth. Fuyuhiko looked between the two of them, confused. “What? Why are you two morons staring at me like that?”

“You- you just made one hell of a speech, man!” exclaimed Kazuichi. Then his eyes narrowed. “Wait, the Fuyuhiko I know would _never_ make an inspiring speech like that! Who are you and what’ve you done with Fuyuhiko?!” Akane nodded in agreement, staring him down.

Fuyuhiko paused for a second, then scowled. “You bastards! What, you think I can’t say shit like this? Don’t underestimate me, goddammit! I’ll show you!”

There was a tense silence for a few seconds before the three of them burst out laughing. Akane went back to shoveling food in her mouth and Fuyuhiko snickered, also eating. Kazuichi relaxed, feeling comforted at the sense of normalcy that had emerged. He looked at his food, and feeling revitalized, also began eating. Within seconds he was ravenously scarfing his food down, having not realized how truly hungry he had been until that moment.

Together the three of them sat there eating until Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko had finished. Akane was still eating. Kazuichi was beginning to get scared of her. Thank god she hadn’t eaten him back in... the funhouse…

He shook his head. _Don’t think about that right now!_

“Uhhh…” he broke the silence awkwardly, the other two looking at him questioningly. “Hajime and Miss Sonia still haven’t come out… You guys think they’re gonna be okay?”

“Again with that ‘Miss Sonia’ crap…” muttered Fuyuhiko. “They’ll be alright, they just need some more time. We all needed some time to ourselves, the same is to be expected of them too.”

“Yeah, but like… Are they gonna come out soon or not? Miss Sonia’s a princess, so...”

“Seriously, man, do I have to explain it to you? Everyone’s got different ways of dealing with stuff. It doesn’t take the same amount of time for everyone. Also, for Hajime and Sonia, they’ve both got some really specific bad things…” Kazuichi looked at him blankly. _Specific?_ Fuyuhiko looked back at him, then grumbled, “Are you seriously that stupid? I expected this from Akane or something…”

Ignoring Akane’s shout of “Hey!”, Fuyuhiko looked Kazuichi dead in the eye and went on, “Sonia’s literally responsible for the destruction and downfall of her _entire fucking country_. As its princess she should have led them to prosperity, not ruin. And you know how seriously she took that duty.” Kazuichi nodded, recalling all the times Sonia had spoken of her duty to her country and its people. “And as for Hajime, well, remember what Hope’s Peak did to him?” Kazuichi thought back to his time in the Neo World Program, remembering what Junko had told them about Hajime. “Yeah… something about them experimenting with talent on him, and replacing him with someone else?”

Fuyuhiko nodded. “Yeah, exactly. Can you imagine something like that? Going from some talentless Reserve Course student to someone with _literally every single talent in existence?_ It sounds amazing, but getting that at the cost of your very identity, your bodily autonomy, to the point where you don’t exist anymore… that’s fucking terrifying as shit, man.”

Kazuichi sat quietly, processing everything. “Hey… Have either of you seen Hajime, by any chance, after he got out of the program?”

Fuyuhiko and Akane both shook their heads. “I was too tired and hungry to pay attention to anything.” laughed Akane. Fuyuhiko affirmed that as well. “Yeah, I was really dizzy, having just gotten out of there. I couldn’t focus on anything, especially with _this_ …” He gestured to his eyepatch. Kazuichi knew that under it was Junko’s eye - sheesh, sometimes her name _still_ sent shivers down his spine. No one, including Fuyuhiko, had wanted to see Junko’s eye, so Fuyuhiko was temporarily wearing an eyepatch over it until they dealt with it more permanently. “What about you, Kazuichi?”

He jerked in his seat, pulled out of his thoughts. “Oh- uh- Well, same as you guys. I was kinda disoriented from just waking up too, but, I think I kinda saw Hajime, though I’m not certain, since it was kinda blurry, but… I think his hair was longer, and there was something up with his eyes…? I’m not really sure.”

“Well, no need to worry about it.” said Akane, still eating. “He’ll hafta come out eventually, and then we can see.”

“Yeah…” murmured Kazuichi, looking down at his now empty plate. Fuyuhiko nodded as well. “The only thing we can do right now… is keep going forward, like Hajime told us in the program. And like what Peko and the others sacrificed their lives for…”

Kazuichi looked at Fuyuhiko for a long moment. “Dude, seriously… Can you, like, become my therapist or something?! These inspirational speeches and pieces of advice are like, _seriously_ uplifting, especially from someone like you!”

“I’m not gonna become your fucking therapist, goddammit! And what do you mean ‘especially from someone like me’!?”

Akane laughed, watching the two bicker. Soon enough, the fuel behind their argument ran out, and the three of them sat content at the table, saying nothing. Of course, Akane’s silence on her part was due to the fact that she was somehow _**STILL**_ fucking eating! Even for her, this was starting to get ridiculous. The three of them smiled.

Yeah… Maybe, with time and comfort, and talking to each other… they could all get through this, together.

\-----

Hajime lay flat on the floor, gazing listlessly at the ceiling of the cottage.

How long had it been again…? Four days, right…?

_Wrong. It has been five days._

‘Oh…’ Hajime barely reacted.

_How long do you plan to simply lay there uselessly? You accomplish nothing by doing this._

‘Yeah, well… maybe I don’t want to do anything. I don’t feel like it right now…’

_Hmph. To think I’m stuck to this… to someone like you._

‘Well, neither of us asked for it, did we?’

_…_

Looks like they’d shut up for now. Hajime sighed, putting a hand on his chest. His mostly flat chest. The one thing he currently had going for him. He didn’t need a binder anymore. He hadn’t even used one since he’d walked into that room for the Project that would change his life forever, if his time in the program could even count, seeing as it hadn’t really been his physical body in there.

The day after he and the others had awoken from the Neo World Program, they’d been taken to their cottages to rest up after the ordeal. Hajime had spent the whole day having nightmares and flashbacks of things that had happened during The Tragedy, which he was still having trouble remembering. They’d become clearer to him over time, as they had all been through Izuru’s eyes, not his. The more he recalled, the more he hated himself. Especially when he’d drifted off and found himself dreaming about the moment the _real_ Chiaki Nanami, not the one in the program, had died in a gruesome mess of blood, reaching out for him with her dying breath. That had been enough to have him jumping awake, screaming bloody murder and scrambling to the bathroom, where he made a mess of things and found himself curling up on the floor among a scattered collection of toiletries. No one had come to check up on him or ask anything, which he assumed was natural. After all, it was to be expected that they’d have nightmares following everything that had happened. He’d sometimes heard Kazuichi’s frantic yelling or Sonia’s shrill screams as well.

The second day, he hadn’t done anything at all. Not even tried to sleep - he’d just wind up getting more nightmares. Instead, he’d simply laid in his bed, awake. There was nothing in his cottage to actually do. Makoto had been periodically leaving plates of food for him, but he’d barely touched them. Only taken a bite or two every once in a while. Makoto had also tried to talk to him and encourage him. Hajime appreciated his efforts, but… no. Just no. He couldn’t really do this right now.

Most of the food lay untouched, the plate still at his cottage door right now. Akane would have probably lectured him on that and then eaten his food if she found out. Hajime let out a small chuckle at the thought of that.

However, during the third day, something… interesting had happened. Hajime had been washing his face in the sink and had looked up at the mirror to see his ~~(no that’s not him that’s not his--)~~ reflection in the mirror - the long black hair, the dead-eyed expression, those red eyes, when he’d noticed that his right eye… looked less red somehow? As if it was tinted with a lighter color--

That was when it had happened.

_How long do you intend to simply stare at that? There is no point to what you are doing._

Hajime had jerked back and looked around, but seen no one there. He checked his cottage and outside the door but it was all empty save for him. Then the voice had spoken again.

_I’m right here._

He’d put a hand to his head and asked, “Are you… in my head? A voice in my head?”

_Yes. Finally. You can be very slow sometimes. How boring._

“Great, now I’m hearing voices. How fantastic.”

_There is no need for you to speak out loud. We can communicate through your thoughts._

‘So now I’m going to chat with the voice inside my- wait. You- you said boring. And that tone… Are you… Izuru? Izuru Kamukura?’

_Yes. That is what I am called._

‘...Wow.’

_You don’t appear to be surprised._

‘That’s because I’m really not.’

_You may have regained bodily control, but that does not mean that I would just disappear. Rather, it is as though we switched positions._

‘Yeah, except when you were in control, I wasn’t there at all.’

_And what does that have to do with me? I did not do any of that to you. Were you not the one who volunteered?_

‘That’s because I had no idea what it really was! They just told me they’d give me a talent! That’s it! Not… not something like this!’

_Regardless, what has happened has happened. Something like this cannot be undone, so it would be wise to accept it. Your repeated denial bores me._

‘Oh, I’m _sorry_ that I’m boring you with all this.’

_You are being sarcastic now._

‘Great job, sherlock. Want a cookie for that?’

_Enough. I grow tired of this nonsense._

After that, Izuru had…’cut out’ or whatever it was. But that was fine by Hajime. He didn’t particularly want to deal with that right now. But at least he knew now. So Izuru had been essentially delegated to the voice in his head, similar to that of an advisor or something. Hajime had gradually grown used to Izuru’s presence, and accepted that, as Izuru said, he couldn’t reverse what had been done to him, so reluctantly he’d accepted it.

Currently, Hajime still hadn’t moved from his position on the floor of the cottage.

He thought about his classmates, who he now knew hadn’t really been his classmates in a way. He'd never even been with them when they’d all been at Hope’s Peak Academy. They had spent their time on the island in the program, but… now they were comatose, and there was very little chance they’d wake up.

As always with when he thought about his classmates, Hajime’s mind usually drifted to one person in particular - Gundham Tanaka. Gundham… he was a unique one, that was for certain. Even among the Ultimates.

Hajime hadn’t been sure what to make of him the first time they’d met in that airport - he had seemed like someone delusional and off his rocker. Even now as he thought of it, he couldn’t help but remember…

~

 **... _An airport!_** _There was an airport on this random tropical island, thank God! Now they could get out of wherever this was and back to civilization and Hope's Peak Academy! A small voice in his head asked why there was even something like an airport here, since most tropical islands and the like operated by boats, but he wasn't about to question it. He wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth like this._

_Going into the airport, he found a bunch of planes stationed outside, and two boys standing around. Their appearances could not have been more contrasting from each other. One wore a flashy neon-yellow jumpsuit that screamed 'I'm here' with bright pink hair in a beanie. There was no way that was natural, and it was one heck of a makeover. Did he do it in order to look cool or be easily noticeable or something? With that appearance, it would never be hard to pick him out of a crowd._

_The other boy was quite literally the opposite. He wore a long black coat, with a heavy purple scarf and black boots with straps and clasps all over. It must be a pain taking those off and putting them on. His hair was streaks of grey and black hair slicked up and kind of curled in a way that reminded Hajime of soft-serve ice cream. Not that he would tell him that._

_He and Nagito went to talk to the pink-haired boy, who also had bright pink eyes to go with his hair. Those were definitely contacts. He introduced himself as Kazuichi Souda, the Ultimate Mechanic. Even better! With those airplanes, what they needed more than anything was a mechanic! Surely they'd be able to find a way off now- only to be told that they were stuck because the engines on the planes had been removed entirely. How was that even possible, to just remove them altogether, and why? Whoever put them here wanted to keep them from leaving very badly. That was really unsettling. But Kazuichi and Nagito didn't seem concerned at all, though. Kazuichi even compared it to being on vacation and to just take it easy... He really wasn't worried the slightest about this, huh? Hajime was kind of jealous of how he could take things so lightly. He must be good under pressure._

_Finishing up his conversation with Kazuichi, he went over to talk to the other boy when-_

_"Halt. You will come no closer... if you value your life."_

_...What??_

_Hajime blinked, simply standing there._

_"Even warned, you still persist? Your courage is commendable. So be it, then. Tell me, courageous one... Would you hear my name? Do you believe yourself worthy?"_

_This guy had a rather deep, baritone voice. He enunciated his words really smoothly, it made him seem... older or something. He noticed the boy had really pale, grayish skin, like he didn't go out in the sun too often, and that he had bandages wrapped all around his left arm. Was he injured?_

_"Very well then! I will tell you my name! Prepare yourself! I am Gundham Tanaka!" Gundham? That's an interesting name. Nagito helpfully added in between that he was the Ultimate Breeder. "Do not forget that name... When I rule the world, to do so would invite death." Rule the world?! Was he serious or just kidding??_

_"And now, you will answer a question from me. Whose master are you?" ...Huh? What...? "I suggest you answer promptly. With which species have you made a pact?" **Species? Wouldn't that mean humans or something?**_

_"Pact? What are you talking about?"_

_"Answer now, for I shall DESTROY you once you do!"_

_"If you’re going to destroy me when I answer, why should I?!"_

_Awkward pause. Gundham blinked owlishly at him for a moment, realizing Hajime had a point and processing that for a few seconds. Thankfully, Nagito, blessing that he was in these times, managed to deflate the awkward tension._

_"I think he’s asking if you’ve ever raised a pet..."_

_Oh! A pet? That was kind of to be expected from the Ultimate Breeder... "Um... Not really. The only animal I’ve ever had was this hermit crab in elementary school..." At this, Gundham donned a look of shock, before quickly becoming indignant. "A crustacean?! Hmph! Foolish human! Your talent is negligible! A Level 5, at most! You are beneath me!"_

_"Huh?! Beneath?!"_

_"Yes! You are beneath me! You are garbage! Trash! You are lucky that I deign to continue this conversation!" What was with this guy and insulting him like that?! He seemed less like someone just overconfident and more like someone ridiculously delusional who talked things up insanely. Was he for real with this?_

_"You may know my name, but have you any idea who I am? I, Gundham Tanaka, am known and feared as 'The Ascendant Ruler of Ice'!" At those words, several hamsters suddenly and quite literally popped out of his scarf. To say Hajime was flabbergasted was an understatement._

_"Wha-Wait a second! What the... are those... hamsters? Where-how did...?!" sputtered Hajime, his arms raised in surprise. Gundham simply smiled in an assured manner and struck some kind of pose in which there was a hamster in each hand and two others on his shoulders. **So he has four hamsters...?**_

_"Behold, The 'Tanaka Kingdom'! By making my body a home to my subjects, I have tamed their evil spirits and bent them to my will!" Evil spirits? **Well, he's definitely tamed them if he's got them living in his scarf...**_

_"He's like our very own Doctor Dolittle, huh?" expressed Nagito with a relaxed smile. **No way, this guy is way more eccentric than that...**_

_"Hear what “Mirage Silver Falcon” Jum-P, one of my Four Dark Devas of Destruction, has to say: "Do not anger us!" You should heed this warning, insignificant one. You will not find these four merciful!" Four Dark Devas of Destruction? **What the hell is this guy on?** Before he could respond, he was cut off by Gundham's loud, boisterous laughter._

_"Um... Anyway," said Nagito. "He may be a bit strange," Even Nagito acknowledged that this guy was weird. "But he’s an unmatched genius when it comes to animals. He can tame anything, and he even managed to save some species that were on the verge of extinction." He did that? ...Then again, personality and talent are two totally different things with a person. It's the passion for the topic. "There’s even a rumor he can even talk to animals... but that’s probably just a joke."_

_Talking to animals? That... sounds crazy. Then again, he kept hamsters in his scarf and appeared to speak for them, so... yeah, no, he wasn't going to spend any more time thinking about this._

_Saying goodbye to both Kazuichi and Gundham, he and Nagito set off to meet the others._

_..._

_If he'd thought Gundham looked or sounded older than most of the others, then Nekomaru made him look like a child. This guy was a high school student?! He was ridiculously buff, looked like he was in his thirties, and had a deeper and louder voice than anyone Hajime had ever met in his life. And he was a coach. What the heck did his athletes look like?_

_His first interaction with Hajime was to tell him to speak up louder and stronger, "from his chest", as he put it. This guy was masculine in every sense of the word. Hajime made a reminder to go talk with Nekomaru later and ask him for some advice and help on things._

~

Hajime smiled wistfully. Yeah, that had definitely been wild. The memory of Nekomaru alongside that only made it funnier - he hadn’t been joking when he’d thought Nekomaru made Gundham look like a child, or himself for that matter. In fact, Nekomaru made literally everyone on the entire island look like a child in comparison to him.

At that moment, someone knocked on his cottage door. Hajime looked toward it tiredly.

“Uhm… Hajime, are you awake? I know you’re in there, so…” Makoto.

Hajime lay there in silence a few minutes, deliberating on whether to answer or not. He opened his mouth to say something, when-

“Look, I know it’s difficult. And I won’t pretend that I fully understand. What you went through… It was extremely difficult and traumatic, and it’s a wonder that you’re still in one piece after everything. But… you of all people should know how important it is to keep moving forward. I get that you need time to adjust, but there’s a limit to how far you can take this. You can’t just… lock yourself up and ignore it forever. Have you forgotten about your friends, and what you all went through together in the program?” For a moment Hajime was incensed at the mere idea that he had forgotten - for Makoto to think something like that. As if he could forget! But Makoto wasn't finished.

“To just lay in there doing nothing… it would invalidate all your efforts to get here. It’d be like giving up. Giving up like that, this far in, without putting up a fight, or even trying… That’s like giving up on your life, wouldn’t you say?” Hajime’s eyes widened, and his mouth opened in a silent gasp. Those words…!

_“Nothing is born from resignation. That is simply a reason to give up. If the world considers something like that ‘Justice’... then I will fight that world with every fiber of my being! Giving up on life... That's just an insult to life itself!”_

That’s right…! To give up now, after getting so far, after making it out of there, with his classmates’ sacrifices… it was just as Gundham had said. And Makoto as well. If Gundham saw him now… He'd definitely lecture him and tell him something like, “After I designated you the singularity and lent you my power, you would simply squander it like this? That is a blasphemy to myself and my power. Pull yourself together. Stand up, Hajime Hinata!”

Yeah… He couldn’t give up now! Hajime pulled himself to his feet and stood up, dusting his pants, before walking towards the door. _Even after everything that’s happened… I… I refuse to give up! No matter what! I have to keep going! For Gundham, and Nekomaru, and everyone else's sake!_

Reaching out for the doorknob, Hajime felt as though an enormous weight was lifting off his back. He realized that that was the resignation he’d felt for his situation - the same resignation Gundham had spoken of in the funhouse. But no more. He wouldn’t hold himself back anymore!

And with that, he grabbed the doorknob and twisted, opening the door, seeing Makoto’s back slowly receding. Makoto had been walking away, resigned to the fact that Hajime would be spending another day cooped up in his cottage when he’d heard the sound of a door opening. He turned to find Hajime standing in the doorway of his cottage, long dark hair still framing his face, and with those red eyes. But Hajime was unmistakably the one behind the wheel - the drive, the determination in those eyes, one of which was… less red than the other? Never mind that - It was clear that Hajime had been revived.

Makoto felt thrilled to see that Hajime was ready to come out. Finally, they were getting somewhere! He smiled. “So, ready to go, Hajime?”

And Hajime looked at him with all the determination in those bright eyes, and said, “Definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kazuichi and Akane seeing Fuyuhiko as an angry little ball of sunshine and Kazuichi asking him to be his therapist... I laughed so hard writing that part. 😂
> 
> So, I touched on the memory of Hajime meeting Gundham. and thinking about him. and being encouraged by him. Ahhhhhhhhh yes.
> 
> Izuru and Hajime have sort of merged, but they can talk to each other inside their mind. Others can't hear Izuru though, only Hajime. And they can't hear Hajime unless he speaks out loud.
> 
> And in case it wasn't clear, I hc Hajime as trans here, going from a girl to a boy. He used to use a binder to help w chest compression and all that, but when the project was done on him, Izuru saw no point in that, so they stopped using it. It might not  
> be explicitly said, but Izuru is non-binary here - as he finds the idea of gender and conforming to that boring and pointless.
> 
> Also, if there's anyone who wants to give me advice or things to help w writing a trans character and stuff about them and using binders and all that, I would seriously LOVE it. I'm trying not to butcher it or make fun of it at all, so if I happen to do something like that don't hesitate to comment and tell me! I value y'all's opinions!
> 
> \-----  
> heya bois, name's Mr Dumpling. so, I haven't read/played/watched Dangan Ronpa in any way, shape, or form, but I really wanted to help aero with editing, so that's what I'm here for. any comments, kudos, and love in general should be directed at them and them only! (srsly, give them love >:3) 
> 
> this thing also uses some form of coding, so I guess I'll be seeing to that as well. 
> 
> sincerely,  
> Mr Dumpling


	3. Going Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody deals with things in their own way.

Hajime walked around the circular room, surveying the pods housing each of his comatose classmates. Ironically, though they had been in the throes of despair when they had been placed into them, their expressions while lying in the pods were all… rather serene. Tranquil, as through they had no worries in the world at all whatsoever.

Makoto stood respectfully in the doorway, watching his reaction and waiting for any kind of question to answer.

Hajime’s hair was pushed back, some of it tied so it wouldn’t get in the way. Though, his long bangs that were in front of his face were still making an effort to irritate him, and every once in a while Hajime would find himself having to push them behind his ears whenever he leaned over or bent down to get a look at a pod’s wires. Hajime winced slightly as one of his hands came to rest on his head, rubbing at the side of his forehead. Another migraine. They happened occasionally at times like this, but he couldn’t let that ruin his focus now. He had more important things to do.

Observing the pods, Hajime noticed that some of his classmates didn’t have the objects that had been on them in the program, like Nekomaru’s chain. _How did he even walk around wearing that all the time…?_ When he passed over Gundham’s pod, he ended up looking in it a bit longer than the others. He put a hand to the glass, fondly surveying the person inside. Gundham was wearing his scarf, but Hajime saw no hint of his hamsters.

Makoto debated whether to leave the room for now to give Hajime personal space for the time being.

Hajime blinked. Come to think of it… even though Gundham’s hamsters had lived on to the very end of the program until they’d shut it down, Hajime hadn’t really seen them anywhere when he’d woken up. Then again, he had been disoriented, and his first focus upon waking up had been to have a breakdown, and then isolate himself in his cottage for five days straight…

But still, he wanted to know. He turned to Makoto and asked, “Hey, Makoto... In the program, Gundham’s hamsters had been with him, but I don’t see them here… What happened to them?” He knew it may have seemed like an insignificant thing to worry over, but he wanted to be sure anyway.

Makoto blinked. He hadn’t expected that kind of question. But regardless, he answered. “Oh! You’re worried about what happened to his hamsters? Well, don’t worry. They’re actually here somewhere. Even though Gundham killed loads of his personal animals after exhausting their use, I think he had been too attached to his hamsters to do the same. When you guys activated the shutdown sequence, apparently the hamsters had been alive as well, so they’d woken up. And, well, they were hamsters, so there wasn’t anything dangerous about them. They were banging around in the pod, so we opened it and pulled them out soon after you guys woke up.”

Hajime nodded. “I see… so they’re alive.” With that, he went back to surveying the pods and their machinery. After observing the monitors that displayed each person’s vitals, he walked back to the entryway, casting one last glance at Gundham’s pod. Makoto walked along the halls outside with him, as the two of them discussed what Hajime had identified from investigating the pods.

“There’s no absolute guarantee… but as long as there’s a chance, there’s hope. And if we believe in that hope for the future, we can do it.” Then Hajime paused. There was one more thought he wanted to voice, but was this a good time…? Oh, screw it. “And about those hamsters… Can you take me to where they are right now?”

Makoto had to admit he wasn’t as surprised to hear that - Hajime asking about what had happened to the hamsters only meant that he would eventually ask to see them. He didn’t see a problem with that though - what harm could come from it?

He took Hajime to a smaller room adjacent to that of the pod room, where the possessions of the then-Remnants had been placed before entering the program. Hajime looked around. Nekomaru’s chain, Teruteru’s little chef hat, Peko’s sword, Mahiru’s camera, and several other things lay organized in cubicles. In a relatively spacious side of the room, there was a small cage with tubes and wheels inside it.

Upon closer inspection, four hamsters, the Four Dark Devas of Destruction, were inside. One of them was sleeping, another sat unmoving, while the other two were more active, moving through the tubes and running on the hamster wheel. They all perked up when Hajime came closer.

“No offense, but none of us are really good at dealing with animals, especially with everything else that’s been going on…” Makoto mumbled in explanation. “So we got this and placed them here. I check on them and give them food and water daily.”

Hajime nodded. “I see… I have to thank you for that, Makoto. Is it alright if I take them to my cottage? I’ll be taking care of them in the meantime until Gundham wakes up.” Without waiting for an answer, he walked over and picked up the cage, walking out the door with it in his arms, presumably to his cottage.

Makoto decided to go back and check on how things were going with HQ.

\-----

Kazuichi was sitting on the beach, tinkering with a small set he’d brought with him. He hadn’t wanted to do this in his cottage - it felt confining and small. So he’d just up and brought his stuff with him out here on a mat.

He felt most relaxed like this - surrounded by the clicks and whirring of the machines he assembled. Machines were something he could understand, unlike people. No matter how hard he’d tried with people, he couldn’t just... _connect_ with them the way he did with machines.

Kazuichi could break down machines with ease, see their components, what made them tick, what their purpose was. But with people… he couldn’t do that. They were ever-changing, and each person being so different and... _unique_ despite being composed of the same things. The Killing School Trip had proven that.

The whole time he was there in the program, he’d been a total coward. He pestered his friends, especially Hajime (who he still felt kind of guilty about for alienating and suspecting, even though Hajime was one of the only people who really tried to listen to and understand him…) and Fuyuhiko. He freaked out easily and couldn’t really do much, in both investigations and trials. He argued with anyone on anything, especially Gundham, for some (apparent? still not sure on that) crush that he was currently racking his brain over.

Yeah.

Life was weird that way.

He still couldn’t believe he’d been such a dumbass - no, more than that, such a fucking asshole. Especially to Sonia of all people. When she’d had a nightmare earlier that afternoon, he’d gone and tried to talk to her, but...

~

_Knock, knock._

“Uhhh… M-miss Sonia? Are you alright?”

Silence. Then--

“Yes. For now, I… I am well.”

He wasn’t sure about that, though. Miss Sonia was a princess, after all! Even with everything that had happened, she was still a princess! And with all this, even she may need some help!

“Are you sure…? I can help, or do anything that you’d li–”

Her voice cut him off swiftly. “No. There is nothing. I would simply like to be left alone for now.”

“B-but you’re probably having a really hard time right now! I could help, or if you just want to talk, or want me to get you anything, Miss Sonia, ju–”

“ **Kazuichi.** ” The tone of her voice made him clam up instantly. “Now, you listen to me, because I will only say this once, and _do not interrupt me._ ”

He gulped. He was sweating slightly now. “Uh, okay. I’m all ears, Miss–”

“Do not call me that.”

“E-eh?”

“I said **do not call me that.** Simply call me Sonia. Nothing more. I have tired of your constant attempts to play at me. I tried to be polite and friendly, but over time you have spurned that. And right now I am not in the mood to care any longer, so I will make it clear here and now. I have no interest of any kind in you. None at all. And no matter what you do, that will never change. You are vain, and irritating, and absolutely pathetic with your overall attempts at me. Does your mind comprehend that now? Do you finally understand? I am absolutely sick and tired of you!”

Her voice was acidic. Kazuichi blinked. Sonia… would never care about him? Ever at all? But… “Y-yeah… crystal clear.”

“Good. Now just leave me alone and stop it already!!”

Kazuichi leapt back at the force of her words. She sounded truly angry - he’d never heard her yell like that before. _Did I make her that angry? That unhappy?_

“A-alright, M- Sonia, I’ll, uh, go now…”

As he turned to leave, he heard a small sigh of relief from inside Sonia’s cottage, and a low muttering of something that sounded like “Thank goodness…” That just made Kazuichi feel even worse. _Am I… am I really **that** annoying?_

…

Normally, when something happened, he’d usually go and rant about it to someone - that someone almost always being Hajime. But Kazuichi hadn’t seen Hajime at all - he was probably still shut up in his cottage. Kazuichi _really_ didn’t want to disturb him in the middle of all this. So what could he do…?

A thought came to him - there was one person he could visit - but he wasn’t sure how that person would react to him. In fact, knowing that person, he’d probably get pissed and tell him how pointless a worry like that was. But Kazuichi couldn’t think of anything else, and this was at least worth a shot. And besides, this guy had been rather comforting and helpful in recent times.

With that, Kazuichi set off, looking for his future therapist.

\-----

Sonia lay seated next to her bed, clutching her pillow tightly in her arms against her chest.

She hated herself. Hated herself so much with every fiber of her being, loathed the fact that she was alive when her parents- her subjects, her citizens, had all suffered such cruel fates by her hands.

_Why am I even alive? I don’t deserve to be. Someone detestable like me does not deserve to-- I am worthless, disgusting, horrible! I am a pathetic, deplorable excuse for a princess! No, I am not even a princess anymore - what is a princess without a kingdom? Without her subjects? Without a crown?---_

_\---You do have a crown, and you know **exactly** how you got it._

She gasped and muffled her incoming scream into her pillow. Her stomach churned, not with hunger but with a burning misery.

Her thoughts had been like this for most of the time that she’d been in her cottage - constantly chasing and interrupting each other restlessly and without mercy. She was taking it all out on herself, and she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Rather, she didn’t want to stop. No matter what she did, no matter how she tortured herself, it was nothing compared to the suffering and pain she’d inflicted upon so many others. She deserved every bit of this.

She released the pillow from her grip and looked down at herself. She was still in the clothes she had been wearing when she’d been inside and had come out of the Neo World Program, but more creased and pulled, with some frills having been torn off entirely in one of her fits of panic. However, in the dim light of the cottage, she couldn’t see very clearly.

Reluctantly, she got up and walked towards her bathroom, legs trembling underneath her the whole way. She had been sitting for a long while.

She turned on the light and saw herself illuminated in the mirror, her current condition made clear to her. Her hair was unkempt, unwashed and splayed everywhere, her braid untied. Her eyes and cheeks were reddish - she had cried and cried all her tears out until they would come no more. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw that her eyes were noticeably dulled. But she was just distracting herself now.

Slowly, she held up her arms and looked at them. Almost all the skin on her arms was reddish - she’d scratched at them with her nails until they’d felt scrubbed raw. It was some sort of miracle that she hadn’t bled somehow yet.

 _Turn on the tap,_ urged some small part of her. _Clean yourself, freshen up._

 _For what?_ She thought derisively. There was nothing to prepare for and nothing to go back to. She had truly ‘hit rock-bottom’, as they said it.

But still, she turned on the tap, if only to silence that little voice in her head for now. She held her fingers under the running water, watching it numbly, then splashed some on her face and arms, making a meager effort to wash herself. By the end of it, she didn’t feel any different - just slightly chilled from the cold water on her face and arms.

She exited the bathroom and sat on her bed, picking up the pillow in her arms on the way. It had been about… three? Maybe four days, that she’d spent in here since waking up. She’d been keeping track of time through the small slivers of light coming through her closed blinds.

She was so tired - she felt fatigued beyond measure. Slowly, her eyelids began to close, but she forced them to stay open. She couldn’t go to sleep! If she did, surely the nightmares and memories would…

But her exhaustion won out in the end, and despite putting up a fight, her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep.

...

_Everything was dark at the beginning, but a light made it way into view, slowly illuminating everything._

_Sonia wished she could have gone back and extinguished that damn light._

_The light shined similar to that of the sun, and she found herself standing in front of her parents, speaking, as they listened._

_“Mother, Father, I must say, Japan was truly an incredible experience! At least, it was at the very beginning. I had made so many friends, and they were all such kind, amicable people!”_

_“We are so glad to hear that, Sonia,” spoke her father. “You mother and I were worried beyond measure! When we heard what had happened… we thought we had lost you forever!” They grabbed her in an embrace. Sonia smiled._

_“Yes, I apologize for worrying you, however, I am alright now!” They let go and looked at her fondly. Then her mother spoke._

_“These catastrophic events happening across the world… Will they pose any danger to our kingdom of Novoselic?”_

_Her father shook his head, stroking his beard. “Only time will tell. We should prepare ourselves just in case. But there is no need to worry - Novoselic is renowned for its military prowess. None would dare challenge or attack us so hastily.”_

_That was exactly what Sonia had been waiting for. Her smile widened. “Yes! Our military is truly formidable! And that… is why I will be taking it.”_

_A sudden silence befell them as her parents looked at her. “Sonia…? What are you saying?”_

_As though it were possible, Sonia’s smile somehow widened even further. This was it. This was what she had been waiting for, on the entire trip here._

_“I will be taking our military and its power.” she reiterated, as though it was the simplest thing in the world. She already knows what they’re going to say next. Quick as a viper, she put her hands behind her back and drew her weapons._

_“Sonia, what you speak of is insanity, and we will not tolerate it. Go to your room, no-” Her father was cut off by the knife protruding from his throat, a gush of blood appearing._

_Her mother gasped, then screamed. “Guards! GUARDS!” Sonia smirked. They wouldn’t be coming anytime soon. She had purposely prepared everything for this glorious moment._

_Her mother rushed to her father’s side, desperately trying to stem the wound, but they both knew that he was going to die. And when he did, after a few more minutes of choking and gurgling, her mother turned to face her, angry tears in her eyes. “You. What has become of you, Sonia? What happened in Japan?”_

_Sonia beamed. “Only the best! I was so, so lucky! I must thank you! Had you not agreed to send me to Japan, I would have never met her!”_

_“Her…?” She could see the wheels turning in her mother’s head. “So someone convinced you to follow this madness? How foolish!” And without pause her mother reached back and grabbed an axe with a long handle and a protruding spike - made to be operated as both a spear and axe. A Novoselican weapon. “You seem to forget, but all Novoselican royals are expert combatants, and I am no exception. I will end this madness of yours, my daughter!”_

_With that, they began to duel, strike after strike of their weapons colliding. But ultimately, Sonia won. Her mother knelt before her, breathing heavily, one hand clutching at the large gash Sonia had made in her abdomen, the other balancing her on the ground._

_“Ah, even wounded like that, you’re still not dead? Amazing, mother!”_

_Her mother looked up at her, venom in her gaze. “Sonia… something like this will not end well. You must reconsider.”_

_Without pausing, Sonia replied. “No.” And she sliced her blade across her mother’s throat. As what had happened with her father, blood like a waterfall gushed out._

_Her mother fell, no longer able to sustain herself. “Just… tell… me… Why?”_

_Sonia walked closer to her mother and knelt down until she was face-to-face with her. Then she smiled. “For despair! And for Junko’s sake!”_

_Her mother blinked. “Jun...ko...?” With that, she breathed her last breath, and died._

_Sonia stood up and smiled. Now this was where things got interesting._

_The rest of the memories came in a flurry. Everything she’d done - mobilizing the military, attacking innocents in cities around the world, burning buildings down, utilizing heavy artillery, and so much more._

_It then became clear that the light that she had assumed to be the sun earlier had not been that - rather, it had been a spark. The spark became a flame, which slowly grew, until it surrounded her everywhere, in every direction, far as the eye could see._

_At that moment, she came back to herself, and looked around in horror. NO!!! What is this? Nonono - not again! Please, no!!_

_Several shadows made themselves clear on the fire - her parents’ strung up bodies, insurgents that had been hung, men who died on her orders, innocent women and children laying dead, of starvation or testing of new weapons or the military beating them down or--_

_She opened her mouth, to scream apologies, to cry and beg for forgiveness, but her throat burned as though she had drunk some kind of poison. She was not worthy of forgiveness. Someone like her wasn’t worthy of anything anymore--_

_The flames closed in, and consumed everything in sight. Only ashes were left behind, and she stared at them, wide-eyed, before spears started protruding from the ground all of a sudden all around her, making cracks in the ground. She looked around desperately, for something, anything - however, there was nothing, nothing - but you don’t deserve anything. You don’t have any rights after all that you did. It’s too late to feel regret now, princess._

_No… **Queen.**_

Sonia was screaming and gasping for air by the time she woke up. When she finally managed to breathe normally after several minutes, she fell back onto her bed, exhausted and crying. Of all the things to dream about, to remember… it had to be that.

She turned on her side, squeezing the pillow to her chest.

She didn’t know what to do anymore.

\-----

Hajime entered his cottage, the hamster cage in his arms. He set it on the desk and opened the window blinds, letting some faint rays of sunlight in to illuminate the cottage interior. Then he opened the door to the small cage, in case the hamsters wanted to walk around out of it.

Surprisingly, the first to come out was the big golden one - Cham-P. Hajime knew all the hamsters’ names. He’d been with Gundham, after all. With Gundham, it was customary to know the names of his Four Dark Devas of Destruction, as he’d put it, and Hajime hadn’t really minded having to do that.

Cham-P crawled out of the cage and settled himself on the table in front of Hajime, blinking up at him. Then the orange-and-white one - San-D? came out and joined alongside Cham-P. The other two remained in the cage, one sleeping and one running on the hamster wheel.

 _Really?_ spoke up Izuru from their headspace. _The hamsters?_

‘What’s wrong with that?’ asked Hajime, though he was already pretty sure of the answer.

_What is even the point? Why bother with them? Their existences are meager and easily predictable, even moreso than humans..._

‘Well, not to be rude or anything, but don’t you find pretty much everything predictable? I don’t think there’s anything on this island that would help entertain you for more than an hour at best. I mean, I’m going along things as I can. You and me, Izuru, we’re like two entirely different people. Just in the same body.’

_Same mind._

‘That pretty much feels like the same thing, considering you were the one in control of the body a few weeks ago. What I’m trying to say is, I want to understand you. I want to coexist alongside you and make the best out of this for the two of us. So if there’s anything I can do that’ll help, you can just tell me.’

_…_

‘...Uh… Izuru?’

 _Leave me be for now. I need to… think on this._ With that, Izuru cuts out.

Hajime blinked. He’d never heard Izuru sound so… uncertain. Izuru had always had an answer, even if it was silence. To hear them like that… Maybe, Hajime was making progress in connecting with Izuru better. He hoped so.

Hajime had no idea what to do next. There were papers spread out along the table and some on the floor, of Hajime’s ideas and writings on the Neo World Program and its workings. He’d spent yesterday and today studying the pods and hypothesizing how to work them so that he could give his classmates a better chance to wake up.

Hajime found himself not having as much trouble as he expected he would with this - with Izuru’s ultimate talents and intellect. Though Hajime couldn’t fully utilize them yet. After all, he’d never had a talent until a week ago, when he’d woken up, and then he’d just spent most of that time lying around.

Izuru was the one who truly held all the knowledge and secrets related to all the talents accumulated within the two - with _them._ Over time, the knowledge and talents had slowly ‘leaked’ into Hajime’s brain in a way - as though Izuru’s knowledge was flowing to him, similar to the memories of the Tragedy and all.

Of course, that ended up happening really slowly. Occasionally he’d have to ask Izuru to tell him something or help him with how something worked. He could usually feel Izuru mentally rolling their eyes at him from the ‘boredom’ or being repeatedly asked for help.

The talents of the Ultimate Programmer, Ultimate Mechanic, Ultimate Nurse/Doctor (is there even a difference between those?) and Ultimate Neurologist had been the most helpful in dealing with the particular situation he was currently in.

Now that he thought about that, he should actually tell Kazuichi about this and look over the pods with him. He wondered how Kazuichi would react to seeing him, with the hair and eyes. The thought of that brought out a chuckle from Hajime. Cham-P and San-D blinked up at him at the sound.

The truth was, he hadn’t met with any of his fellow survivors yet. That didn’t seem to make any sense, right? It should’ve been one of the first things he did.

But he’d wanted to get a look at the pods first, and an idea of what was going on before he went to meet up with the others. And for all he knew, they were all also dealing with their own baggage in different ways. Speaking to others was supposed to help, but everyone needed their own time, and he knew that better than most.

He sighed, laying his head on his arms. His shoulders and legs ached, and he was seriously tired. Hajime contemplated taking a nap, but rejected the idea. He wasn’t in the mood for more nightmares.

A third hamster, Maga-Z if he remembered correctly, crawled out of the cage, leaving only the sleeping hamster, Jum-P, inside. Maga-Z scrutinizes him, as though he’s calculating whether to attack Hajime or not.

Hajime smiles wryly at the sight of the three hamsters sitting in front of him. “Are the three of you accosting me? Are you going to attack me with your unholy power?” He lets out a chuckle at the thought.

San-D steps forward and holds out a sunflower seed to Hajime in offering. Hajime carefully picks it out of the hamster’s hands and looks at it before looking back at the hamster. “Thanks, that’s... nice of you.”

Suddenly Hajime notices that the hamster cage is empty, and he notices the sleeping hamster, Jum-P, alongside the others outside of the cage, still sleeping without a care in the world. Hajime resists the urge to facepalm. _When had he–? Oh, whatever._

Looking at the group of hamsters all gathered in front of him, Hajime remembered the time that Gundham had formally introduced him to his hamsters…

~

_“Hmph! So you wish to learn the ways of the dark arts, hm? Interesting… Very interesting! Pray tell, what prompted you for such a thing?” Gundham crossed his arms, eyeing Hajime carefully. “Be truthful with your intent, for should you lie to me, you will burn in hellfire!”_

_Hajime raised an eyebrow. Right. Well, he hadn’t really even asked to learn the ‘ways of the dark arts’ or whatever it was called. The names for these things always seemed to change every time he spoke to the breeder. Sometimes it was ‘dark arts’, sometimes it was ‘arcane secrets’ and other times it was something else. He should really stop keeping track of these things._

_All Hajime had really done this time was show an interest in Gundham’s hamsters and their relationship with their owner. Because for some hamsters, they were freakishly intelligent to the point where it seemed they were human at times. They’d laugh at something funny, roll their eyes at something irritating, sneer smugly when they were mocking someone, and sometimes even stick their tongues out in annoyance. Hajime found himself sometimes wondering if the hamsters were actually humans trapped in hamster bodies._

_“Well, truthfully, I think it’d be really interesting to learn, and… I want to understand you better, Gundham.” Hajime was slightly nervous at how Gundham would react, but he was being honest here! And besides, through his one-on-one interactions with the other students, Hajime had learned to be careful of how he responded at times. It felt like a video game where he had to choose the right answer to progress through the conversation properly._

_At his response, Gundham looks away from Hajime and strokes the fur of the big golden hamster. His face is turned away from Hajime’s view and for a moment Hajime worries that he’s offended him or made him upset somehow only for Gundham to abruptly turn back for Hajime to notice the nervous expression on his face, which is quickly replaced by a confident smile. “Fuhahaha! Good! It seems you were speaking the truth after all! Had you attempted to lie, you wouId have burst in flames!”_

_Hajime blinks exasperatedly. As if something like that would happen. “But if I did burst into flames, I would’ve died. You realize that, right? And then there would’ve been a class trial, and then, well... you know.” He still couldn't really bring himself to say ‘punished’ - the brutal deaths of his classmates had horrified him._

_Gundham blanched at those words, clutching his scarf. Hajime instantly regretted his attempt at a reasonable answer. “Uh– I mean, I was just, um, trying to–”_

_Gundham cuts him off. “No, no, do not apologize... As hazardous as your answer was, it was correct. I should be mindful of my power next time… Kehehehe… Hajime Hinata, for a mere mortal, you truly bear good observation and reason.”_

_Hajime looked away awkwardly. Great. Now he was the one being all awkward. “Uh, thanks, I guess…?”_

_For a moment he thought about what kind of execution Gundham would have. Definitely something with animals. Monokuma's executions always seemed to be tailored to each blackened’s talent, in a cruel mockery to them. Hajime wondered about his own execution, which would also probably be the same for him. He didn’t remember his own talent, but did Monokuma know what it was?_

_He shook his head to disperse his awful thoughts. **Don’t think like that, dammit! What’s wrong with you? You're talking with Gundham right now!**_

_He turned to face Gundham, only to see the breeder eyeing him with a strange expression. The air around them was filled with tension, growing more awkward by the minute. Gundham clearly wasn’t going to speak up soon. Hajime did not want to ruin this because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut on some crappy joke. He decided to just go back to the topic that began this whole conversation._

_“So, can I hear about your hamsters?”_

_Gundham glared at him indignantly at those words. “Fool! They are no mere hamsters! They only appear that way because their true forms are trapped within these puny mortal shells! You must always refer to them as the Four Dark Devas of Destruction, understand?!”_

_“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind then…” said Hajime, hands raised into the air in a gesture of appeasement. Gundham naturally spoke very loudly and was always saying things in a strange way. Hajime really needed to stop being startled by these things._

_At the beginning, Hajime had had literally no idea how to react to Gundham’s… strangeness. He wasn’t even sure if he’d manage being friends with him, what with Gundham acting as if Hajime was inferior and talking in that really confusing way. He’d definitely intrigued Hajime, though - that was for sure. Though, he’d felt better hanging out with Nagito for now._

_Then the killing game had started, and he’d found out about Nagito’s true character - and how crazy he was. Talk about a vibe check to the face._

_Ironically, that was what told him that everyone was not what they seemed at first, and that he should try to get to know the others better._

_He’d started with Hiyoko, though he’d quickly realized that he was better off leaving her to Mahiru. But she was also vindictive in the way she bullied Mikan. Hajime was worried about that._

_Some people were rather open. Kazuichi was a good example of that. The mechanic was jumpy and easily scared and whiny at times, mostly wearing his heart on his sleeve. Hajime could handle those, but when Kazuichi nagged at him and especially when he prattled on about Sonia Hajime could feel his patience against committing a murder right there being tried immensly. Though, even Kazuichi had his own depths. Every person did._

_Gundham and Nagito were probably the most complicated people on the island - but at least Hajime knew Gundham was probably not a murder-plotting psychopath. So now he was here, sitting next to Gundham at the ranch trying to understand him._

_He listened as Gundham told him the names of the Devas and their respective breeds, telling Hajime in between that “his offering of the sunflower seeds was most appreciated as it was a delicacy the four Devas were fond of” which Hajime chose to take as a compliment._

_Gundham had gotten to talking about the behaviors and personalities of each hamster, which was only solidifying Hajime’s theory of the Devas being actually humans somehow with the amount of detail, which led to him taking out one of them, namely the large golden one, Cham-P._

_“Of all the Dark Devas, Cham-P is the most intelligent - unlike the others, he truly understands the concept of fear and knows when to choose his battles. He is also the most calm of all the Devas.”_

_“Huh, that’s interesting…” Without even realizing it, Hajime’s arm had subconsciously reached up of its own accord - whether to touch the hamster or whether to do something else, he hadn’t known at the time. But Gundham had reacted swiftly to that, holding the hamster out of reach._

_“Do not lay a finger upon Cham-P’s pristine form!”_

_“H-huh? Ah…!” Hajime jolted, withdrawing his hand. Gundham shook his head._

_“Tsk, tsk! That was close - very close! Be thankful, for had I not noticed your intentions in time, you could have been punished for daring to touch Cham-P without permission!”_

_Hajime blinked. “So you’re the only one who can touch your h- Devas?”_

_Gundham nodded. “Indeed. I am currently the only one capable of touching my Devas without burning to a fine crisp… Those with strong willpower may as well, but there are none here with that level of power at the moment.”_

_“Then, could I maybe one day also touch them?”_

_Gundham simply looks away, his scarf flying dramatically in the wind. “Perhaps, Hajime Hinata... For now, that is all.”_

_They were silent after that, with the two of them just sitting next to each other and Gundham looking away. After a few more minutes of silence, Hajime figures that was enough for him for now. Maybe he could go play games with Chiaki - she was a chill and genuinely relaxing person to hang out with._

_Putting his hand on Gundham’s shoulder, Hajime stood up, about to make his leave, when Gundham abruptly and quite literally leapt away from him, staring at Hajime wide-eyed._

_Hajime blinked, standing there with his arm still raised. **What was that? What did I do? Did I do something?**_

_The breeder is looking from Hajime to his shoulder and back to Hajime again, a look of confusion growing on his face._

_“Uh, Gundham?”_

_Gundham jerks, looking at him. “You’re not…? Erm, I mean, how…?”_

_Hajime took a step forward. “Did I do something wrong?”_

_“I… Well, that is… I-I must take my leave, for now. Goodbye.” With that, Gundham walked away hurriedly. But Hajime wasn’t done._

_Following after Gundham, he called out. “Just tell me if I did something wrong so I don’t do it again!”_

_Gundham scrutinized him as he walked, as if trying to figure out something. Hajime held his gaze. They locked eyes for a long moment._

_Then Gundham turned away and said, “I have finished with you for today, Hajime Hinata. If you would leave me be for the rest of the day now, lest I curse you.”_

_“No!” Hajime replied. “Whatever it is that bothered you, I just want to know. You can tell me!”_

_Instead of responding, Gundham merely began running, quickly leaving Hajime in the dust._

_“Huh? Wha-?!” Hajime stared at Gundham’s receding figure. **How can he run that fast, with that heavy coat and those clunky boots?! Are you kidding me?** He was about to chase after the breeder when he stopped, thinking. **If it bothered him so much that he literally ran away from me, should I chase him down? I shouldn’t intrude on him. After all, it’s his personal business...**_

_**And maybe he’ll tell me sometime later.** _

_Hajime decided to go play games with Chiaki for now. He could talk to Gundham some other time._

~

Hajime’s eyes were half lidded as the memory slowly faded from the ranch to his cottage table, which only had the big golden hamster and the sleeping one on it. The other two were walking along the windows and checking the cottage out.

Hajime wondered if they had remembered everything in the program, similar to him and the others.

_They probably did, or they wouldn't be acting so familiar with me._

But that memory, of him talking to Gundham… That had been probably the first time he’d hung out with him.

~

_He had still been confused afterwards, but pushed it back in favor of hanging out with Chiaki. They’d played games for a while, but then they’d grown tired of it, Chiaki having beat him every single time. So they’d gone walking along the beach, talking. Chiaki had been telling him video game facts and some observations she’d made, while Hajime told her interesting things he’d heard the others saying or stuff he did sometimes._

_Chiaki had probably been his closest friend at that time on the island - in fact, apart from Gundham later on, Chiaki was the closest person to him. She even knew about him being trans. He didn’t know how she’d known - maybe it was her great observation skills (despite falling asleep all the time…) but either way, she knew. But she’d been supportive and offered to be there for him, an offer that he’d gratefully accepted._

_Maybe, that was how Chiaki felt was her only way of helping and doing as she was supposed to in the program, with Monokuma and the killing game. To be there for the others._

_Hajime had been telling her about Gundham and his hamsters when he’d offhandedly mentioned what had happened, wondering why Gundham had freaked out like that, and Chiaki had taken on a thoughtful expression, clearing thinking over what he’d said._

_Then she’d told him, “It’s probably because you touched him.”_

_“Huh? What do you mean?”_

_Chiaki looked at him. “You probably haven't hung out with Gundham very much yet, so I’ll just give you a heads up now. Gundham… has an aversion to being touched. He tends to keep his distance and claim his skin is poisonous. That’s probably why he… freaked out when you touched him.”_

_And now that Hajime thought about it, it made sense. When he’d first met Gundham, the breeder had told him not to get near him. Most of the time he maintained space between himself and the others. **So that’s it… But… his skin is poisonous? What’s that about?**_

_“I don’t know.” said Chiaki. “But, that’s his personal business. Maybe he’ll explain, but he’s not obligated to. Whether or not we wonder.”_

_It took Hajime a moment to realize he’d spoken out loud and that Chiaki had been answering, but regardless she did have a good point._

_“You’re right.” he nodded._

_Chiaki smiled at him._

~

Hajime sighed. _Gundham… Chiaki..._

Hajime stretched, feeling something pop in his back, and decided it was time to lie down a little. His arms were sore, his legs ached, and his back felt like it had been hunched over for hours.

He cast a last glance at the Devas as he went to his bed. “I still can’t believe you little guys pretty much killed Nekomaru…” Then he blinked. “Wait, that's literally what happened.”

As he lay down on the bed, the Devas gathered by him. Hajime smiled tiredly. “Don’t worry. I’ll definitely find a way to wake your owner up, along with everybody else…”

Then he drifted off.

\-----

Fuyuhiko had been laying on a bed in one of the cottages, looking around absentmindedly. The cottage he was in was bare - devoid of anything personalized, anything that showed a person had been living in it.

That made sense. After all, everything had been in the program. When they’d been brought to Jabberwock Island, they’d been taken straight to the pod room to begin the Neo World Program.

This wasn’t his cottage though. Not one bit.

This was Peko’s cottage.

Well, not really hers, again, but in the program it had been. So close enough.

He’d been looking up at the ceiling, remembering everything - his fall into despair, his forced takeover of the Kuzuryuu Clan, the number of people he’d shot and killed. The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History. The goddamn Tragedy.

Everything… all of it happening because of that Junko _**bitch.**_

He clenched his fists, feeling his nails cutting into his hand.

“Goddammit…” he muttered. “God fucking dammit! Why...”

All of his anger petered out. He was too exhausted to follow that train of thought any longer for the time being. “But still…!”

He sighed, looking up tiredly at the bland wooden ceiling.

At that moment, someone knocked on the door. “Uh… Fuyuhiko?”

 _Kazuichi._ What could he want? “Yeah?”

“Uh… Can I come in? Can we talk?”

What could Kazuichi want to talk about with him? Well, it wasn’t like Fuyuhiko had anything better to do right now, apart from plaguing himself with bad memories. “Sure, whatever. Come in, the door’s open.”

The door opened and Kazuichi walked in, looking almost jittery.

Fuyuhiko didn’t move from where he was at. “Make yourself comfortable. Bed, chair, floor, whatever.”

Nodding, Kazuichi sat on the floor, legs crossed. He was twisting something in his hands. Looked like a metal wire or something. And a thick one at that.

“So.” prompted Fuyuhiko. “What's got you all twisted up?”

“Uh… Well… “ mumbled Kazuichi. “Something happened a while ago, and I wanted your advice on it…”

Fuyuhiko blinked. “ _My_ advice? Weird choice for a person, but shoot.”

“See, I went to talk to Mi- uh… I mean, Sonia,” Fuyuhiko wasn’t surprised at that information one bit - however, he noticed that Kazuichi had referred to Sonia without the ‘Miss’ honorific - that surprised him.

Kazuichi continued. “She had a nightmare, I could hear her from my own cottage, so I tried to help, but… she got so _angry_ at me, for some reason. I just wanted to comfort her, y'know, ‘cause she’s a princess and she might need help!” Fuyuhiko mentally rolled his eyes. Sonia being a princess made her the exact _opposite_ of fragile. Trust Kazuichi to have that go over his head. “But instead, she got mad and told me off! And not in a nice way either! She said I was irritating and pathetic and to go away and I just… I don’t know. Am I… _that_ bad? I’ve been thinking hard on it, and trying to pick it apart and work it out like a machine, especially with everything that happened both in and out of the program, and… I dunno, I really want your advice on this. You’re a realistic and down-to-earth kinda guy. Also, I’m still set on you becoming my therapist and all.”

Fuyuhiko blinked, taken aback. This guy had thrown a whole friggin’ _speech_ at him. But he understood what Kazuichi was asking him. That in itself amazed him, and he couldn’t help but voice that.

“Wait, seriously? You finally get it? It’s a relief to know you aren’t as thick-headed as you were before, dude. And quit calling me your therapist already.”

Kazuichi looked at him with an expression that held both dejection and betrayal. “What’s that supposed to mean? Explain it to me!”

Fuyuhiko sighed. Well, at least Kazuichi was making progress in that regard. He’d realized he was being a creep to Sonia, just like how Fuyuhiko had been an asshole to his classmates but had changed himself after the second trial. Maybe that was why Kazuichi had chosen to talk to him of all people. Clever.

_...No, he’s not intelligent enough for something like that._

But now was the real challenge - actually resolving the problem, and along with that, himself.

“Alright, then. Strap yourself in, because you’re in for a hell of a revelation for someone with your level of incompetence.”

“Hey! Seriously, quit that!”

\-----

Akane sat on the flat, metal-plated floor, legs crossed. The dark, air-conditioned room was rather cold right now, chilling her legs, which weren’t covered with anything apart from her skirt.

She sighed and inclined adjacent to the pod to her right, leaning her elbow against the outer metal hull and holding her tilted head in one hand. Her hair was messy as usual, with her only having bothered to wash it in water during her time awake. But hey, it was better than nothing at least.

She looked at the sleeping form of the person inside the pod, his face and clothes lit by a green hue, his expression relaxed, unusual for the normally expressive and active man.

She’d never gotten to thank him for saving her life. Because she’d been so stubborn and foolhardy. Like the baby-faced gangsta had told her.

When Nekomaru had died again for the second time, Akane was sure he was gone for real. She’d only been able to say the words she’d wanted to tell him for days over the broken pieces of his corpse, crying her heart out in front of her classmates.

Akane hadn’t cried in years, much less over someone’s death. Growing up in her neighborhood, she’d become desensitized to the idea of people dying and losing your loved ones. It wasn’t like anyone lived forever - everyone died eventually. Death didn’t discriminate. The issue was just that no one knew _when_ it would come. It could be sudden and quick, or slow and painful. Akane had seen both over her lifetime, Tragedy or no Tragedy.

The reminder of The Tragedy made her feel even worse. She’d caused so much death and destruction with her bare hands. She was a weapon - and for the first time, the thought horrified rather than exhilarated her.

When Akane had arrived at the fake Jabberwock Island, she’d thought she could finally get a real break. In fact, it had been even better than actually going to Hope’s Peak! Like, a tropical island with all the breaks! Even if it had been a program!

Knowing the truth of _why_ she had been in the program at all in the first place had dampened that, though.

Then Monokuma had showed up and announced the killing game, and fear and tension was everywhere. Akane’s gut had told her there was something up with this - that there was more than what there seemed to be, that things weren’t so simple and clear-cut.

Again, her gut hadn’t been wrong. And this time had been no exception.

People had started dropping like flies, and somehow Akane adapted quite easily to that. The truth was she was actually more used to the lifestyle of desperation and death than some peaceful island trip. Whenever she’d mentioned that, though, most of her classmates gave her strange looks of concern, as if there was something wrong with her.

What the hell was up with that, huh?! That was how she grew up!

Yeah, she could tell. She may be unobservant at times but living like she did, she learned to discern peoples’ expressions and intentions quickly. Though that was when she was actually paying attention, which she didn’t do very often. Hey, could you blame her? There were more important things than what some people thought of her!

Akane managed to make it to the end along Hamtaro, Kazu-something, Sonia and the baby-faced gangsta. And she’d learned the truth of their world. To be honest, when she’d heard in the program that everyone wasn’t really dead, she’d been happy. When Akane got out of here, Coach Nekomaru would be alive and awake, and this time she'd definitely make sure to apologize and thank him properly!

Only for that to be smashed to the ground the next moment.

Apparently their dead classmates didn’t die physically or whatever - only their brains. Akane wasn’t really good at all that stuff, but the basic idea was that their classmates wouldn’t wake up either way.

And nothing since Nekomaru’s death and the reveal of Chiaki as the traitor had devastated her as badly as that if not more. To face the despair of her… _friends'_ deaths, only to be given hope that they were alright, only to have that hope dashed away instantly… Akane was tired of it. She was done. And the Future Foundation heaping everything on her didn’t make things any better. _They_ were the ones who had put everyone in the program and been so careless that Junko had gotten in! They were the reason more than half her class was dead and had almost pretty much no chance of waking up, including Nekomaru, who had to die twice, all because of her!

...Nah. Akane hated it, but she couldn’t think like that. Now that she’d remembered… everything.

Akane hadn’t exactly had time to think it over as her memories returned, though, because she’d starved herself in her despair (What the hell! She couldn’t believe that she’d done something like that! To give up food of all things… _Despair_ was seriously awful. And disgusting. She didn’t want to go near it in any way ever again.) So she’d eaten. Until she was full. Until her body was a bit more like before, capable of sustaining her.

And sometimes until she puked.

Akane knew from experience that puking wasn’t good. It left a _really_ bad taste in her mouth, and it just meant all the food came back out of her, which ruined the point in eating. Sometimes she knew that - her gut would tell her. Sometimes she didn’t, because she was solely focused on getting anything edible within hand’s reach and didn’t notice her gut trying to warn her.

She was just hungry. She wanted to get all that food in her body. She didn’t want to ever go back to the way she’d been before. Not one bit.

At least no one else knew about that last bit, though.

Akane leaned forward, her forehead pressed against the glass case of the pod, and sighed. “Hey… Coach? I know that you can’t hear me or whatever, but I just gotta talk. I gotta get this off my chest.” Silence answered her words. Whatever. She hadn’t expected anything anyways.

“Things are so crazy, like, in a bunch of ways. We pretty much ruined the whole goddamn world, most of the Future Foundation guys wanna kill us, and we’re all pretty much wrecked up. I really got no idea what to do or where to go from here. Like, the obvious idea is that we do our best to get better and crap and hope you guys wake up… but then what?” Akane wasn’t one to think about the far-off future - that was something that could be dealt later on, as she preferred to focus on the present, but the uncertainty here was so strong - she’d never been anywhere near this unsure about… well, almost everything.

“Do we try to fix what we did? Do we even do anything? Can we do anything? Like, won’t everyone hate our guts and try to kill us? Especially the Future Foundation, once they get wind of it…” Akane sighed, scratching her head.

“You and the scarf guy, you two put your lives on the line and risked it all for us, so we could keep going, so we could _live._ And… I believed in that. Me and the others, apart from that crazy Nagito with the bombs, we did our best.” She leaned back. “But you guys didn't know. You didn’t find out the truth behind everything.

“How would you react, Coach? If you found out what we found out… Would you still be so confident about all this? Knowing you, it might take a while, but you’d definitely get back on your feet… You’re that kinda guy, after all. I know that, but… I can’t bring myself to feel that completely. Some part of me wants to, but everything is pushing down on us, and… the pressure gets really strange on me sometimes… Is that okay, Nekomaru? Is it okay for me to be tired and take my time like this?” Heat was building up in her eyes.

“I wanna be strong. Stronger than my past self. My past self that was so weak that she fell under some simple words from that bitch. I wanna be stronger not just physically. I wanna be strong so I can keep getting back up no matter what. I’m definitely going to manage that one day, just you watch. I’ll be so strong, I’ll never be weak, never let myself do something as disgusting as--”

The smiling faces of several young children flashed in her mind, and Akane felt something inside of her break.

“I… Nekomaru, I…” It’s no good. The words are stuck in her throat. She felt as if they were physically choking her, with the weight held into them. She forced the words out anyway, feeling as though razor blades were cutting into the inside of her windpipe as she did. “I… I _killed_ them, Nekomaru. I killed all my cute little siblings.” Now that she’s said it, it felt that much more real, that much more undeniable as it manifested into reality.

“I took each one of ‘em… and I… killed them… in- in all sorts of brutal ways.” Tears escape her eyes, running down her cheeks. “My cute little siblings who a-always looked at _me_ like I was the best person in their lives, someone who truly cared about them, not like my… parents who always came and went and changed. They were so sure that when I c-came back I’d h-help them a-and protect them, but- but I… I just did the opposite!”

“I took one of them… and I-I threw her off a b-building into a bunch of radioactive waste… and then another one, I took him and with m-my _own_ two hands, I… d-drowned them, and then I beat their corpse up until I couldn’t even see my brother in it anymore...” She’s full-on bawling now but she couldn’t care less about that. Now that she’s started, she can’t seem to stop. “There was another one, and… I broke all their bones… and then I… l-looked into his eyes and then broke his skull… and I just left his body there…”

Akane cycles through all the ways she’d killed each of her numerous siblings, the memories clear and burned permanently into her mind forever. She’d had never-ending nightmares about it ever since she'd woken up.

“A-and my youngest sibling, I… I set her on fire, and w-watched her run around and beg for help, but I just watched and laughed. I fucking laughed at all this, Nekomaru! What the fuck is wrong with me?!” Akane shook her head. “No, that’s not even the worst part of it! After she’d died from the fire, h-her body, it was all… c-cooked up, and I…” She resisted the urge to vomit all over the place. “I _ate_ her, Nekomaru! I fucking ate her! Oh god… Oh god- god fucking _dammit!!!_ ” She’s panting at the end of her tangent, heaving large breaths. As quickly as it had built up in her, all of Akane’s energy left her.

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against the cool glass of Nekomaru’s pod, still crying, waterfalls cascading down her face.

“Nekomaru… What do I do?” Her voice is a whisper. “Ha… I a-already know what’d you say, but it’s… it’s not that easy, y’know… I used to be so proud of being strong... and you know that too. But I… I used my strength in the worst ways possible. And… this isn’t a situation that can be fixed with just more strength. Strength, fighting, surviving… that was all I knew. And… I know that now I gotta use that strength in a different way. Not to hurt or fight, but to keep going, to not give up like that Hank guy said.” Akane looked down at the floor.

“I won’t give up. So, Nekomaru… please don't give up either, ‘kay? Personally, I’m not sure if you guys are ever even gonna wake up, but… if there’s even the smallest chance, then… don’t let go, ‘kay? Cause we’ll... we’ll definitely find a way to help you wake up. So hold on, you got that?!”

Akane looked up at Nekomaru’s face, hoping to see a reaction, something, anything, no matter how small it had been in response to her impassioned plea. But there was nothing. He was as dormant as ever. She sighed.

At that moment her stomach let out a loud growl, demanding for food. Akane stood up and rubbed her hands across her eyes, trying to wipe away her tears. Almost reluctantly, her feet moved as she walked towards the door to go to the restaurant.

As she crossed the door, Akane paused and took one last long look at all the pods holding her classmates. Her eyes landed on Nekomaru’s, and she managed a faint smile before she left.

“See ya later, Coach Nekomaru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooooooo boy! I'm so glad I finally got this chapter out! This chapter was actually a bit of a hassle bc it was a bit difficult writing everyone by themselves and shit lol. Also it was almost twice as long as I planned so take it as a treat ;) 
> 
> To that one commenter from like 2 weeks ago, sorry I took so long but I hope you like it *thumbs up*
> 
> My favorite part of all this was Akane's scene at the end. I feel that her, along with Kazuichi and Sonia got the short end of the stick in terms of character development bc by the end they were pretty much the same. Like maybe they had a few moments of difference in behavior or changing a bit but it didn't rlly feel like the development Hajime and Fuyuhiko got by the end.
> 
> One last thing: the ~ sign means a flashback or someone remembering something, in case it wasn't clear.
> 
> Chances are updates will be monthly from now on just as a heads up to y'all. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next one out b4 school starts. I'm mainly split rn bc I'm working on two fics at the same time - this fic and my spirited away au fic (which will probably end up as hinadam knowing me lol rip) so yeah thanks.
> 
> Also and finally thanks to Mr_Dumpling for helping me in all this. They don't know anything about danganronpa but chose to help me with my writing nonetheless. They're absolutely amazing and awesome y'all
> 
> Next chapter: Fuyuhiko gives Kazuichi a good talking to about his bs with Sonia


	4. Rude Awakenings

“First of all, you’re a total fucking creep to Sonia. Literally.”

Fuyuhiko had decided to just be as straightforward and simple as possible in explaining it to Kazuichi, so it could get through his thick-ass skull. Fuyuhiko still wasn’t sure whether Kazuichi was _entirely_ aware of how shitty he’d been to Sonia, but as someone who had grown up with Peko, also a rather refined and formal girl, he was going to make it clear to the mechanic that his behavior hadn’t been cool one bit.

Kazuichi just stared at him open-mouthed for a moment before going, “What!? What do you mean a creep?! I haven’t been like that!”

So he wasn’t aware of how much of a creep he’d been? Well.

“Dude, the way you acted, you were definitely a creep. But I’ll humor you. What makes you think you _weren’t_ a creep?”

“I wasn’t being a creep to her, man! I was just in love with her!”

“No, you were _definitely_ being a creep. You were being really... _creepy_ towards her.”

“No, I wasn’t! Really!”

Sigh. This was going nowhere. At this rate they’d be going in circles. Fuyuhiko was _not_ in the mood for that. Fine then.

“Why?”

“Huh?” Kazuichi looked taken off guard. “Why what?”

“Why were you in love with Sonia? What was it about her?”

“‘Cause she was really pretty and nice and she’s a princess! Duh! Also, she’s blonde! Blonde girls are my thing!”

“...Is that it?” He can’t be serious. That was so... basic, and... bland, even for a love-stupid moron like him. “That’s… all?”

“What do you mean that’s all? That's plenty enough, isn't it?”

No fucking way. That can’t be it. That was so… shallow.

“Dude, that’s… bullshit. That’s not love. You’re just saying some simple things about her. Sonia isn’t all just that. She’s a person too, with her own personality and interests. Just because you find her pretty doesn’t mean you’re in love with her, especially with the way you behaved towards her, for fuck’s sake. You’re objectifying her.”

“I am not! I’m just telling her how pretty and beautiful she is, which is the truth!”

“Yeah, but you’re acting like that’s all there is to her!”

Kazuichi blinked at Fuyuhiko. “Uh… yeah…? That’s all she needs, y’know?”

 _Oh my god. This moron. How the hell did he end up as one of the fucking survivors?_ “You do know there’s more to a person than the surface, right? And not just how they look, but how they fucking act. Everyone’s got different facets and sides to themselves. You, you idiot, you don’t seem to get that.”

Kazuichi didn't say anything in response. Fuyuhiko decided to try and elaborate more.

"You don't get tha–"

“No, I get it.”

Fuyuhiko was about to tell him that if he continued treating Sonia the way he did, then he clearly _didn’t_ get it, but something in Kazuichi’s tone stopped him. Before, the mechanic had been petulant and stubborn, but now his voice was quiet and pensive.

Kazuichi was looking down at the floor contemplatively. The metal wire lay bent and twisted to the point that it looked like it might break into pieces if pulled at the joints.

Kazuichi took a deep breath. “I… I changed myself. On the outside. On purpose.”

Fuyuhiko cocked his head. Now they were getting somewhere. “What do you mean?”

Clutching at his beanie, Kazuichi continued. “I… People used to… bully me. Beat me up and call me names. So I, uh, decided to change myself so they’d leave me alone. I changed my hair and clothes, and got contacts, and acted totally different, and sure enough, they… they left me alone.”

He looked like he was trying to hold back tears.

“My dad and most people always talked about how I should look for a beautiful bombshell, especially blonde, and keep trying to get her to like me. Because boys chasing girls until they get them… isn’t that romantic? I mean, that’s how it’s supposed to be, right?”

Fuyuhiko paused, taking it all in. What a backstory Kazuichi dropped on him, and all in less than five minutes too… No wonder the mechanic acted all over the fucking place. And it didn’t seem like his dad had helped at all, with this toxic masculinity idea over women. If Kazuichi’s father had still been alive, Fuyuhiko would’ve given him a serious speech laced with threats. But the man was already dead - Kazuichi himself had killed him with the machinery he was so proud of. So there was no point. Looks like he’d have to clean the fucking bastard’s mess now. He sighed. What a pain.

“No, Kazuichi, it’s not normal. None of that shit is normal or right at all, not one fucking bit. Your dad and those other guys are wrong. _Were_ wrong.”

Kazuichi deflated at those words, nodding, before perking up again. “Oh… But still! What if I actually like her? What if I really care about her? That’s good, right?”

He sighed. Why the fuck is he the one stuck giving love advice to this moron? “ _Yes_ , but that’s not how you feel about Sonia! You don’t actually love her because you don’t know her!”

“W-well, still, I do, I–”

Fuyuhiko’s patience ran out at the mechanic’s attempt at another argument. “Then what about her other qualities?”

“Other… qualities?”

 _Oh my fucking–_ “Y’know, things other than her being some pretty princess. Like... her interest in the occult and serial killers. What about that?”

Kazuichi blanched. “Well, uh, it’s just a phase! Something like that’s not good for a princess, so…”

“So what? Soon enough she’ll grow out of it? That’s a really shitty thing to assume, man.” _Kinda like some parents with their gay kids…_

Not that he wasn’t one of them. He was bi. He’d never told anyone though, until his parents right before he’d killed them to bring out more of their despair. Though, he hadn’t been specific to them.

The yakuza didn’t really mind homosexuality within their ranks, but his family had always been a traditional one as they were the leaders - his parents expected him to get married to someone worthy of a yakuza heir to continue the bloodline and the Kuzuryuu legacy. And for that it had to be a woman. Fuyuhiko had kept quiet at the fact that there was always a chance he’d end up with a guy, if he found the “right person” like everyone always said. He’d considered it bullshit at the time, but--

Little had he known then, the “right person” had been by his side the whole time.

\-----

Sonia was sleeping when a piece of paper slipped through under her door. It lay on the floor, unnoticed and untouched.

\-----

Makoto looked over the email that had been sent from the Future Foundation’s Headquarters. The message had been the same – asking what they had been thinking, demanding they turn the Remnants over, telling Makoto to bring himself to the Future Foundation’s HQ to stand trial for what he’d done. The message ended the same as all the others, as customary of the Future Foundation.

_“Everything is for the sake of a future filled with hope…”_

But couldn’t they see that the Remnants had been manipulated by Junko? They didn’t need to be killed off mercilessly, they deserved another chance! And it had sort of worked - ten out of fifteen of the Remnants were comatose, but the other five were awake and had snapped out of Despair. And they were looking into waking the others up, which promised well.

But the Future Foundation… They wouldn’t give up. Until Makoto turned himself in or until they found the Remnants. And the more time passed, the more the Future Foundation searched, the closer they got to pinpointing them on Jabberwock Island.

There was no putting it off any longer.

He sighed, turning to Kyoko and Byakuya, who had also been reading the email. They seemed to be thinking the same things as him, judging by their contemplative expressions.

Kyoko looked toward them. “It appears we’re running out of time on this. We can’t hold them off forever.”

“Exactly.” interjected Byakuya. “We’ve already done enough - in fact, far more than needed. We should return to Headquarters. The more time we waste here, the closer they come to finding the Remnants. Makoto, I know you’ll agree with me on that. After all, you want to protect the Remnants, don’t you?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then the best thing you can do at this point is turn yourself in. In fact, all three of us. But you’ll be the one on trial. No hard feelings, though, I trust?”

As stern and blunt as Byakuya could be sometimes, he was right.

As though he could read his mind, the Ultimate Affluent Prodigy adjusted his glasses. “Of course I am. Who do you take me for? I am always factually correct.”

“Really?” Kyoko smiled. “I happen to remember that during Sakura’s trial, you missed crucial evidence and were wrong on that count. What do you say to that?”

Byakuya spun and glared at her, both irritated and flustered. “There’s no need for you to remind me!”

Makoto suppressed a chuckle at the sight, knowing he’d get an earful from the blond for it. Though, he couldn’t resist adding his own bit in, just to hold on to this moment of fun.

“And there was that time you voted me as the blackened during Mukuro’s trial and were totally wrong, too. What about that, Byakuya?”

Byakuya swiveled to give Makoto a glare as well. “Not you too! Don’t you patronize me!”

Kyoko crossed her arms, smiling. “So I guess you’re not _always_ right, hm, Byakuya?”

He glared at her, and fearing that things might escalate, Makoto held his hands up in a placating gesture, speaking hurriedly. “Okay, I think we made our point to him, Kyoko, there’s, uh, no need to say anything more…”

Byakuya adjusted his glasses, regaining his composure. “Good thinking, Makoto. Besides, we have bigger things to focus on, don’t we?”

He didn’t need to elaborate any further on that. The three of them turned back to the screen, Kyoko no longer smiling.

Makoto sighed. Things weren’t looking too good, no matter what angle he looked at the situation from. The Future Foundation had made their stance on the Ultimate Despairs quite clear. They wanted nothing less than their deaths, and they wouldn't negotiate on that matter.

Makoto could understand what they meant and why, but he refused to agree in doing such a thing regardless of the circumstances. Violence in such a way wasn’t the answer. That just created an endless loop of ever-continuing attacks and deaths.

So no matter what… He’d make sure that the Future Foundation never got their hands on the Remnants of Despair.

\-----

“Look, Sonia clearly has her own interests and things she likes! She doesn’t have to fit your perfect mold of a princess! I mean, it was obvious both in and out of the simulation!”

Kazuichi looked away awkwardly, twining his fingers together. Seemed like he didn’t have an argument against that. Fuyuhiko decided to press further on that.

“Like, even with our memories erased, when we were all stuck in that fucking funhouse and fucking starving, Sonia chose to hang out with Gundham over you every ti–”

“Aaaaaaagh! Gundham?! Like the hamster weirdo? Seriouslyyyyy?!” yelled Kazuichi suddenly, the mention of the breeder having seemingly fired him up again.

“Uh, yeah? That’s literally what happened.”

“So you’re saying Miss– uh, Sonia actually likes _Gundham_? Are they together?!” Kazuichi ran his fingers through his hair. Fuyuhiko slapped a hand to his forehead. _Imbecile_. That was the only thing to say to this guy, who always jumped to conclusions and forced his shit on others.

And for one, Fuyuhiko knew that Sonia and Gundham weren’t together. He wasn’t sure whether or not Sonia did like Gundham, though it wasn’t difficult to assume that, from what he’d seen - Sonia crying at Gundham’s trial reminded Fuyuhiko of him crying as Peko was sentenced as the blackened. But one thing he was sure of was that Gundham wasn’t in love with Sonia, because there was someone else. He’d seen and heard enough things to make him sure of that.

“Dude, _no._ They’re not together. Don’t worry.” Fuyuhiko wouldn’t say anything more, though. That was their privacy.

“Oh, good, for a second I thought they were! That’d be awful for Sonia, being around that--”

“Goddammit, Kazuichi, shut the fuck up for one second! Who cares about that?! And quit it already with your bullshit on Sonia! You came to me wanting to understand if she really hated you and why, and I’m telling you you were a creep and an asshole to her! That’s literally it! You didn’t consider her thoughts or opinions! You didn’t see her as her own person! That’s how you fucking ended up like this!”

Fuyuhiko hadn’t even realized it, but in his anger and irritation he’d stood up, fists clenched. He’d put up a lot with Kazuichi’s bullshit before, and he’d probably put up with more in the future, but this was ridiculous. The mechanic had come to him, and then tried spurning everything Fuyuhiko told him. Why come to him for advice if he was just gonna disregard it all?

Kazuichi just stared up at him, mouth open, at a loss for words. Fuyuhiko sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes, before sitting back down on the bed.

“...Sorry. But look, you came to me for advice and help on this, so just listen to me, okay?”

Kazuichi nodded quietly.

“You- you’re seeing Sonia as this pretty princess and disregarding everything else, when you should know there’s more with what you’ve seen of her over the years. Did you forget what she did under Junko’s influence?” Kazuichi’s eyes widened. “And if you can’t stop drooling over her or whatever, just leave her alone, okay? She told you to your face she hated your fucking guts and would never love you, so just get rid of the idea of getting together with her ever. Got that?”

Kazuichi nodded, his figure drooping. Fuyuhiko felt a pang of pity run through him at the sight. He sighed.

“Hey, c’mon. Uh… Let’s go for a walk, how about that?”

For a moment he thought Kazuichi would either refuse or burst into tears. But then he just nodded and got up, heaving a large sigh.

“Yeah, okay…”

Fuyuhiko saw that there _were_ tears forming in his eyes, but it was clear Kazuichi didn’t want that to be brought up, so he didn’t mention it.

Right then, a piece of paper slipped from beneath the door. Kazuichi reached over and picked it up. Fuyuhiko leaned over to get a look at what it said.

_Hey guys,_

_Come over to the restaurant later so we can have a discussion with everyone._

_Hajime_

“Hajime?” murmured Kazuichi. “I haven’t seen him at all ever since I woke up.”

“Yeah, me neither,” said Fuyuhiko, arms on his hips. “But from the looks of this letter, we’ll finally be seeing him soon, so no need to worry.” Deciding on a change of subject, Fuyuhiko went and opened the door. “And hey, I don’t know about you, but I’m in the mood for some good food after all that. How about you?”

Kazuichi’s mood lightened a bit at that, and he let out a small laugh.

“Sure.”

The two of them walked out of the cottage, relieved to have gotten that out of the way, when Kazuichi spoke up again.

“So, actually, I guess I was right about you pretty much bein–”

At that moment, a shrill, clearly feminine scream pierced the air, cutting off any semblance of peace and conversation the two boys had been having.

\-----

This time, Sonia hadn’t gone to sleep of her own accord.

After the incredibly vivid nightmare about her parents which came of her trying to sleep, Sonia had decided to simply not go to sleep. She already knew that was a foolish idea, but she refused to go back to those memories. If it meant fatigue and insomnia over the nightmares, so be it.

Of course, she should have realized that a combination of everything, from refusing to eat to having not rested enough in several days would tire her out faster than anticipated, but she hadn’t really been in the right mind to care. All she knew was that she’d do anything over experiencing one of the things she’d done under Junko.

And yet, her eyes had closed and her mind had sunk into the lull or sleep.

And with it, nightmares.

This time she’d had a dream about the moment she had _truly_ fallen to despair - the moment where Chiaki was brutally executed.

In retrospect, she should have realized something was up. She had been a princess who was set to inherit the throne of an entire country to govern and rule! She had been taught from a young age to be cautious, to create alliances carefully! And most importantly to be able to judge and discern people and their intentions!

And yet, she had been so excited upon arriving in Japan and going to Hope’s Peak that it had slipped her mind. Her classmates had been so nice! Or at least, most of them…

She’d wanted to _feel_ normal so badly for once, to not be considered someone special or above, to fit in, that she had pushed aside most of her princess duties and skills for the time, even though that was the whole reason she’d been going to Hope’s Peak.

Junko had approached her, on the idea of wanting to meet other Ultimates and learn more about Novoselican culture, Sonia hadn’t thought anything bad of it. From what she had seen, the people in Class 78 had all been incredibly upbeat and kind, although not as chaotic as her class.

She should have realized there was something. After all, her class had been the only one Junko interacted with apart from her own, even though Junko claimed to want to talk to and understand _all_ the Ultimates in Hope’s Peak Academy.

Slowly and slowly she’d told Junko many things, from personal things about herself, to even several secrets about Novoselic, with Junko helping teach her about Japanese fashion and customs in return.

If only she’d known that Junko was storing away the information to use later, to use _her_ later in her crusade of spreading despair around the whole world. At the very least, she was certainly dead now, so things couldn’t get worse, even though catastrophic damage was brought to the world.

This time, she’d had a dream where it was a normal day at Hope’s Peak with her classmates and her teacher, Ms. Yukizome. Slowly over the course of the day people would disappear in the same order they’d died during the killing game - until she was the only one left.

She looked around. “Hajime? Akane? Fuyuhiko? Kazuichi?” Hadn't they survived with her?

Then two television screens appeared before her - looking exactly like the one that had broadcasted Chiaki’s death - but instead of her body, each of the screens showed one of her parents skewered and dripping with blood.

Her hands reached for her face, and she _screamed_ \--

\--as she woke up, the lifelike graphics of her parents’ bloodied bodies flashing in her mind before she managed to calm down.

To get two nightmares in the span of less than three days, and be woken by them screaming… Hopefully, no one had heard-

**_Thunk! Thunk!_ **

She registered two voices, calling out her name in concern.

“Sonia! You alright? Open up!”

“Miss- uh, Sonia? Hey, Sonia!”

She sighed tiredly.

\-----

“Hey! Sonia! Did something happen?” asked Kazuichi, worry etched into his face.

“She might’ve had a nightmare, y’know.” mused Fuyuhiko, before yelling. “Sonia-!”

“Hey!” interrupted Kazuichi. “If she had a nightmare, then we should be careful! Loud noises won’t help!”

“...What is it?”

It took them both a moment to process that the voice that spoke wasn’t either of theirs before they turned to the door.

“Uh, S-Sonia?” squeaked Kazuichi.

“What?” Her voice was weary.

“Well, you screamed, like, really loudly, so we came to see what’s wrong. And you’re the only one who hasn’t come out of your cottage, so.” Fuyuhiko shrugged. “Figured maybe you should try coming out, talking to people, the usual.”

“Thank you, but I will be alright.” Sonia’s voice made it clear that she wasn’t in the mood for any more conversation, but the two boys were not of the obedient type.

“Alright. Then open up.” said Fuyuhiko.

“W-Wha?” Kazuichi looked at the yakuza, confused. “She just said she didn’t want to, you-you shouldn’t insist, man, it won’t be pretty…” The memory of Sonia’s venomous tone, telling him she was sick of him and his advances, were still fresh in his mind.

“Yeah, well, she’s spent long enough holed up in there. She doesn’t get anything from beating herself up about it.” Fuyuhiko directed his words at the door. “Sonia!”

No response came from the door. Kazuichi grabbed Fuyuhiko’s shoulder.

“H-hey, man, are you--”

“Kazuichi, just go on ahead to the hotel restaurant.”

The mechanic looked at him worriedly. “B-but...”

“Look, out of everyone here, I understand how Sonia feels the most. I get her situation, so just trust me on this, okay?”

Kazuichi held a long look into the other’s eyes, gauging him, then slowly nodded and turned. As he walked away, he called back, “If I hear you did anything bad, I’ll-I’ll make you regret it, you got that?!”

As he left, Fuyuhiko nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah, yeah…” Then he turned his attention back to the door. Banging his fist on it once, he called out, “Hey, look, Kazuichi’s gone, if he was what was bothering you. So can you open up now?”

There was a short silence before she responded. “You said you understood how I felt. Ridiculous. What do you mean by that?”

“Look, I get it. I get what you’re going through, more specifically than anyone else here, even the other survivors. But could you at least let me in before we actually get into talking? I’m not really into the idea of talking back and forth through some thick wooden door.”

Another short silence before Sonia answered, albeit clearly it was with reluctance. “Very well.”

_**Click.** _

The door opened slightly. Fuyuhiko slipped through and closed the door shut behind him. Then he turned to look at the person sitting in front of him.

_Oh, wow._

Sonia was a mess. And that was putting it nicely.

The basic items like boxes and books were scattered all over her table and nightstand, and the entire room was dark save for the slivers of light poking in through the blinds. Sonia herself wasn’t any better - her hair was unkempt, her clothes rumpled, and her eyes were red - whether from crying or nightmares or both, he didn’t know.

She sat on her bed, watching him quietly, waiting for him to say something.

“Uh-” Fuyuhiko chose to sit on the chair in front of the nightstand, facing Sonia. “So, I think you should try getting out more, Sonia. Staying here like this isn’t gonna do you any good in this fucked up situation.”

Rather than agreeing or disagreeing, Sonia just looked at him and asked, “What did you mean when you said you understood me more than the others?”

Figures. “I meant that we all helped with- with the Tragedy and all, especially you with your country and people, and the others with their talents, an-”

“That’s _exactly_ it!”

“Huh?” He jumped, seeing that Sonia had abruptly stood up from her bed, fists clenched at her sides, eyes wide. “What’s it?”

“The Tragedy! My _country_! We all may have been involved together in causing it, but I- I brought my entire country to ruin for it! My parents, the people I was to lead, those who put their faith in me! And I killed them, tortured them, _tyrannized_ them! And for what, in the end! Because I was so foolish, I let- let someone like _Junko_ get to me! I, who was to lead an entire country, and yet I couldn’t even lead myself properly!” She was screaming now, tears in her eyes. “How could you, how could _anyone_ understand the weight of that burden?!”

Sonia was growing more erratic by the word, and Fuyuhiko decided that that was enough.

“The weight of all the people I lead to their deaths and despair, the weight of an entire country, all on my shoulders and my shoulders alone! As if you could ever understand how much tha–”

“I _do_ understand!” yelled Fuyuhiko in response, now on his feet too. Sonia stopped, evidently having not expected him to respond like this. Fuyuhiko continued before she had a chance to argue back.

“I do understand, because I also had my clan, the entire Kuzuryuu clan, which had a lot of people counting on me and looking to me to lead them, but I just led them to ruin. To death and despair, same as you! And _that’s_ why I can say with certainty that I understand more than the others what you’re going through.” He paused to breathe before continuing. “Because I was also in a position where I ruined everything that I was, everything that my so-called _talent_ was!”

For a long moment, there was dead silence after Fuyuhiko’s outburst. Then Sonia slowly fell back onto her bed.

Fuyuhiko stepped over to her. “Sonia?” To his shock, he realized she was crying, silent tears cascading down her face.

She looked at him. “I am so sorry… I… I did not even consider for a second that anyone else was suffering under the same guilt as me… I felt as though none of you would understand me, would be on the same level of pain as me, and…” She covered her face in her hands. “I am so selfish…”

“Nah, it’s okay.” Fuyuhiko settled himself on the bed next to her. “You were caught up with the guilt and memories of what you did. Everyone here is. And they’re all dealing with it differently. You especially with the people who were supposed to lead and all. I’m in the same boat - I get that.”

“But, still-”

“No,” Fuyuhiko interrupted her. “There’s no point in trying to force yourself into this shit. I might, no, I definitely sound cruel, but at some point you gotta do something other than dwelling on the past, to move forward and all that. And right now, the only way you’re gonna do anything other than just sitting here and crying is to go outside and at least try to face it. Otherwise, you’ll never change in any good way. Trust me, I know that better than anyone.”

He did. Especially recently, where he’d been an asshole to everyone back in the simulation, before Peko had been executed brutally and he’d lost an eye in the process (ironically, he’d also lost an eye in the real world, though that had been of his own volition). After that, he’d been humbled and tried to start anew so that Peko’s sacrifice didn't go to waste. He wondered how she’d react to his new ‘persona’ if she woke up.

After another long moment of quiet (Fuyuhiko was getting really tired of these) Sonia sat up, then went to the bathroom. The sound of running water started for a minute before stopping and the princess came back, looking at him with renewed vigor though Fuyuhiko could still see the dullness in her eyes - but at least she was going forwards, and that was what counted.

“All right,” she said, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. “I’m… ready. Let’s go.”

Tentatively, Fuyuhiko opened the door and the two of them exited the cottage. Outside, it was clearer how much staying indoors for over a week straight had done to Sonia - her skin was waxy and pale, and her hair was even more unkempt than it had looked in her cottage. She looked thin, unhealthily thin - Fuyuhiko had seen results of starvation and dehydration, and Sonia was of the former. And were those _scratch marks_ on her arms?

Well, hopefully she’d get a chance to get better and all. They all did.

As they walked towards the restaurant, Fuyuhiko told Sonia of Hajime’s note, and the former princess nodded, silent for a moment before she spoke up. “You know, for one considered a fearsome yakuza, you... were rather very helpful and comforting. You helped wake me out of my spiral.”

“Thanks?” he replied. “Are you going somewhere with this?”

“Well, I was just wondering… Perhaps you have an additional talent?” At his confused stare she tried to elaborate. “Such as, Ultimate, um… Counselor? Or… Therapist, maybe?”

Fuyuhiko stared at her for a second before slapping a hand to his forehead and groaning.

“Goddammit, Kazuichi.”

\-----

Hajime was in the bathroom of his cottage again eyeing his reflection. He ran his hand through the thick dark tendrils that seemed more like oversized tentacles than hair.

“I’m never gonna get used to this…” he murmured to himself, moving his long-as-fuck bangs out of his eyes. Different colored eyes were one thing, but this was another. Well, one eye, anyways. When he’d come out of the simulation both of his eyes had been red, and over the days one of them had slowly turned green again. So now he had one red eye and one green eye.

 _Now you match that boyfriend of yours, the one with the animals you’re always thinking about._ Izuru’s voice piped up tonelessly.

Hajime blushed lightly at being called out on it so easily, and by Izuru of all people. Right now they were probably the only one who could do that to him, considering they were in his mind and with him at all times. ‘Uh… Well…You’re right, but that doesn’t matter right now…’

He looked down at the sink, pausing for a moment, before he spoke again. ‘I’m thinking about maybe cutting my hair down a bit.’

_…And? What does this concern me for?_

‘Wha- Well, I just thought that you might wanna know and all. Technically it’s _your_ hair. And I don’t really like it. It gets in the way and I never thought I’d say this about hair, but it’s _heavy._ How is _hair_ heavy? Seriously.’

_Well, that’s your problem to deal with. It's no longer of my concern anymore._

Hajime brushed another hand through his hair. ‘Eh… I got some scissors, so I’ll do it later, because I have a meeting with the others in the restaurant about now. And to be honest I want to see their reactions to my appearance this way.’

_Technically, that could be considered **my** appearance, as yours was the one with short hair._

‘My appearance isn’t really much of your concern anymore though.’ replied Hajime, to which he could mentally sense Izuru shrugging at him.

_Still._

Hajime shrugged. ‘Yeah, still. But I guess I’ll be going now. Not that you’re not with me the whole time or anything, though, huh? Haha.’

_There was no need for laughter then._

‘Yeah, you’re right. Don’t really know why I did that. Whatever. Now we have to go!’

_You treat this matter as if it is critical. I know what it is about, but you are much too concerned and focused on it. I do not understand. Is this matter that important to you?_

‘Of course it is,’ said Hajime, opening the door.

‘After all, we’re finally going to start on waking our friends up once and for all!’

\-----

The trio of Class-78 rushed back into the communication room, having received some urgent news.

They’d been planning on heading to the restaurant to discuss with the currently-awake remnants of Class-77 when they’d received an urgent transmission.

Kyoko typed quickly into the keyboard, displaying the message onto the screen, as the other two read it. This message was different from the ones they had received before so far.

_Makoto,_

_What you are doing here is unacceptable. We helped you and brought your memories back, and this is how you repay us? By saving the lives of those who caused the Tragedy in the first place? Despicable. You think everything can be reasoned with and fixed just by talking, but we’re beyond that now. Actions are what truly matter. And your actions speak a lot louder than your words._

_Make no mistake, I will spare no expense to bring down these harbingers of despair that you’ve sheltered. We may not know exactly where you are right now, but soon enough we will find out. Turn yourself in now, and bring the Remnants of Despair, or I will have no mercy._

_This is all for the sake of a future filled with hope. A future eradicated of despair._

_Kyosuke Munakata_

“Ah… that’s not good…” murmured Makoto.

Byakuya crossed his arms. “If Munakata of all people is after us, then we’re in trouble. That man is single-minded in his drive and hates despair with a passion. He’ll chase us to the ends of the Earth.”

"Makoto." said Kyoko. "What do we do? Do we respond?"

Makoto looked down, clenching a fist. “No. If that's what's happening, then... I’ll turn myself in.”

The other two looked at him, not really surprised by his decision as they had expected this of him.

“Kyosuke probably doesn’t know you two have helped me since you covered your tracks - and if he does, I could say I forced you into helping me somehow, but I’m the only one who’s really in trouble.”

“And the Remnants?” Kyoko crossed her arms, looking like a mirror image of Byakuya with the expressions on their faces. Not that Makoto would tell them that. “I assume you’re not going to just give them up after all the trouble we went through to protect them and bring them here.”

“Of course not!” Makoto shook his head. “I’m just going to turn myself and only myself in. That’ll stall them for a few weeks while we return to Japan and the Future Foundation decides what to do with me.” He looked at them. “What will you guys do?”

“Come with you, obviously,” replied Byakuya. “You can’t manage that huge boat on your own.”

“And anyways, if we’re inconspicuously absent from a hearing for _you_ of all people, there is no doubt that Kyosuke and many others will become suspicious.” added Kyoko.

Makoto had to agree on both of those points. Still…

“Well, we’ll have to send a message back telling them we’ll be turning ourselves in - that will delay and maybe even stop their deployments.” said Kyoko as she typed into the keyboard again, this time writing a transmission.

“We’ll get the ship ready, and go to explain the situation to the others and give them the data we have so far, since after all we _were_ supposed to meet with them.” Makoto explained hurriedly. “Any questions?”

Silence. Well, that was enough of an answer.

And with that, they got to work.

\-----

Fuyuhiko and Sonia walked into the restaurant, where Akane and Kazuichi were already seated at one of the tables. As expected, Akane was eating at a rapid pace, while Kazuichi was eating as well, though slowly. At their entrance, their heads snapped up to look at them.

Akane waved to them, a chicken leg held in her hand, while Kazuichi looked relieved to see them, especially Sonia, though he wanted to be careful on that count.

Seating themselves at the same table, Fuyuhiko looked around. “Well, anything we missed?”

“Not really,” replied Kazuichi, before turning to look at the former princess. “But I’m really glad you finally came out, Mi- Sonia!” Sonia herself took note of how the mechanic refrained from using annoying honorifics. “N-now everyone’s come out!”

“Really?” Sonia looked around. “I do not see Hajime here…”

“He’s the one who told us to meet here, remember?” Fuyuhiko reminded her. “I’m sure he’s on his way here or whatever. But still, I would’ve expected that bastard to be the first here, since this was his idea and all...”

“Who cares?” yelled Akane. “Right now we’re eating! He’ll come when he comes!” With those words, she grabbed another chunk of chicken and tore hungrily into it.

The other three side-eyed her as she ate ravenously. _Yeah, that’s about what was expected of Akane, all right…_

With all the talking and chaos, the four hadn’t noticed or heard a certain someone walking up the stairs and entering the restaurant - at least, until that person made their presence known to them.

Kazuichi’s eyes noticed something coming up from the entrance behind Fuyuhiko and Sonia and gave a loud screech of “AAAAAAUGH! MONSTER! SLENDERMAAAAAN!!” as he toppled and fell backwards on his chair.

The others swiveled to see a person with long, dark hair and a glowing red eye, the other being covered by their bangs. They looked at the Ultimates indifferently, in an almost menacing manner. It chilled them to the bone.

Fuyuhiko leapt up and grabbed a knife, holding it in front of himself threateningly. “Who the fuck’re you?” he spat out, eye narrowed.

Beside him, Sonia had also picked up a knife and held it in some kind of stance. _Huh. Must be military training._ “H-he asked you a question! Please answer him!” she said. “Identify yourself!”

Kazuichi was still lying on the floor, staring up in fear, while Akane stood up and eyed the stranger suspiciously, one fist clenched, the other putting food in her mouth.

The person didn’t answer. Rather, they _smiled._ Of all things. Like two angry people holding knives and one threatening to punch them was no problem at all.

...Strange. That smile looked almost familiar for some reason--

Suddenly everyone became aware of the sound of loud sniffing. Everyone turned to look at Akane, who had put down the food and was now sniffing the air, leaning towards the stranger.

She took a few steps to the stranger, still sniffing, and then her eyes widened as she abruptly yelled, “HENRY!?”

Kazuichi shot up like a bullet and slapped her upside the head. “Who the hell is Henry?!”

The chaotic moment was cut off by the stranger’s sudden laughter. “You guys really haven’t changed that much, huh? Well, sort of. Still freaking out at everything like always, Kazuichi?”

“Shut up! I don’t freak out at everything! Only sometimes, y’know, after everything that happened!” The mechanic pointed a finger at the figure. “And what do you know about me, you-- huh? Hey, wait a minute--”

“That voice…” murmured Sonia, lowering her knife.

“H-Hajime?” sputtered Fuyuhiko with shock, also lowering his knife.

The figure smiled, pushing away the hair covering their face, revealing a green eye. “Hey, guys.”

The effect this had was instantaneous. Kazuichi all but threw himself at Hajime, sobbing loudly about how much shit he’d gone through, and Fuyuhiko grabbed him by the collar, trying to pull him off, while Akane began piling plates of food in his arms telling him he needed to eat, and Sonia was telling Hajime how happy she was to see him, and it was all kind of overwhelming–

“Okay, STOOOOOOP!”

Hajime held the plates up above his head. “You guys are literally _piling_ all over me. Can you wait like two seconds for me to sit down first at least? Come on!”

Everyone froze for the whole of two seconds before seating themselves back on the table. Hajime sighed as he pulled up a chair and joined them. Honestly...

“Okay, but you gotta eat loads to keep your body strong, so c’mon, or else I will!” Akane pointed at the plates of food in front of Hajime on the table.

“Alright, alright…” He muttered.

Everyone began eating, but that didn’t mean the conversation just instantly stopped. Kazuichi gestured with a fork at Hajime. “So, Hajime, what’s up with the…” He waved a hand around his head, indicating the hair and eyes.

“Oh,” Hajime ran a hand through his hair. “This is technically… Izuru’s hair. Not mine. Because of the… _experiment_ that Hope’s Peak carried out on me…”

“Oh, uh…” Kazuichi looked away awkwardly. “Ahaha, sorry…?”

“It’s not really a problem, I mean, everyone already knows.”

Sensing the awkward air, Sonia turned to Hajime. “Well, I am glad that we can all finally see and speak to each other again!”

“Yeah, me too,” added Fuyuhiko. “You wouldn’t believe the shit I had to put up with in the meantime. First I do those dumb meetings for what to do with my fucking _eye_ , then all in the span of one day I had to give this guy–” - He jabbed a thumb at Kazuichi - “–a goddamn _romance_ talk, and then I had to friggin’ talk with her–” - pointing at Sonia now - “–in some kinda - ugh - _therapy session_ , which is really not my thing–”

“Even though you need one.” muttered Kazuichi.

“–And seriously, I’m just done. Nope. I’m out, I’m not doing any more of these discussions. Not when I have to deal with everyone piling their shit on me. You’re good with that - so it’s all yours, Mr. I-have-every-talent-ever. Hey, wait… do you?” Everyone looked expectantly to Hajime.

Hajime nodded.

“Whoa, so it’s real?!” yelled Akane, spitting food out.

“Yeah, it is. But something that surprised me was that you could tell who I was from my smell. I mean, physically, we haven’t really interacted much. You’re terrifying, Akane.”

“Yeah, I am! And besides, you kinda smell like you did back in the program world. I just followed my gut! Hahahaha!”

“Your gut sense is terrifying for its ability to predict…” murmured Sonia. “Even back in the simulation…”

They talked a bit more, about anything that was an agreeable enough topic to discuss, but everyone knew it was just to pass the time to get comfortable, and eventually Fuyuhiko said as much.

“So, Hajime, what did you _actually_ call us out to this meeting for?”

“Huh? Meeting? What meeting?” asked Akane.

Kazuichi looked at her. “What do you mean what meeting? The one Hajime called us out for. You know, the ones with the notes.”

“Notes?”

“What do you mean, didn’t you–”

“I didn’t give Akane a note.” Hajime interrupted. “I just banked on the chance that she’d probably be in the restaurant.”

“Oh.” The other two mumbled. That seemed so… obvious.

“Ah, but I didn’t get a note either…” said Sonia, cocking her head in confusion.

“Sonia didn’t get one either! Sheesh, Hajime, you got something against girls or something?!” yelled Kazuichi.

“Wha– no!” Hajime blinked. “No, I gave you one. I slipped it under your door. Maybe you didn’t notice it? Fuyuhiko said you had a long day...”

“Ah… Perhaps…” Sonia looked down.

“Hey! Now you made M– Sonia sad! Apologize!” Kazuichi pointed at Hajime threateningly.

Fuyuhiko slammed a hand on the table, silencing everyone. “Shut the fuck up! Who cares about pointless shit like that?! I wanna know why you brought us out here, Hajime!”

Everyone looked to Hajime, who began speaking. “Yeah. I called you all out here because it’s been nearly two weeks since we’ve all come out of the Neo World Program, and clearly we’re all well enough to be leaving out cottages and talking to each other, so I figured it’s time to get to actual business.”

“Actual business meaning…?” prompted Sonia.

Hajime smiled. “We’re going to wake our friends up from the Neo World Program!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooooo! 8k words in one chapter! Nice!
> 
> So, yeah, Fuyuhiko gives Kazuichi a talking to. I think we all know that that perverted mechanic had it coming for a while now. I was honestly gonna have him pull the Sonia shit for a few more chapters before she shot him down, but I couldn't really put up with his crap. Literally even in the game I hated it so much.
> 
> Yeah that's it. I'm really sorry for the long hiatus, I've been literally murdered by schoolwork like 9 times already this year and was on a reading roll rather than writing. I'll try to keep less space between my chapters next time, maybe on one or two months at most. Sorry for keeping y'all waiting so long, please be nice in the comments.


	5. Pain. That's it. (Mostly).

Hajime and Kazuichi were looking over the pods, some papers held in front of them as they worked. Kazuchi was engineering the machines that held their classmates’ bodies one by one - adding or removing pieces and chunks of it to optimize its function of keeping those inside alive and up to prime condition. Hajime was reconfiguring and rewiring the system to try and improve its energy and speed, Izuru occasionally making a comment and inserting their input.

The others, who weren’t really good with machines or electronic systems, were mainly looking at their classmates in the pods. Fuyuhiko was standing over Peko’s, a hand placed on the glass cover, Akane sat by Nekomaru’s, and Sonia was varied, occasionally moving between different ones, usually standing by Gundham’s or Mikan’s.

~

_ “We’re gonna be waking them up?” asked Kazuichi. _

_ “YEEESSS!” yelled Akane, fists pumped into the air. “FINALLYYYY!” _

_ “Wait, how?” asked Fuyuhiko, brow furrowed in confusion. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad, but didn’t those guys from Class-78 tell us there’d be, like, no way to wake them up? That they’re comatose or something?” _

_ “Yes, we did say that.” came a voice from the stairs.  _

_ Everyone turned to see Makoto, Kyoko and Byakuya ascending the stairs. Kyoko was holding a small stack of paper in her hands. _

_ “Your friends right now are neither alive or dead,” began Kyoko. “Rather, they’re in stasis - physically, they’re alive. Mentally, well... their brain functions are still active, but very weak and at risk, which can’t be helped.”  _

_ “Thank goodness…” Sonia looked down, hands clasped to her chest. “At the very least, there is a chance, no matter how slim…” _

_ Byakuya raised an eyebrow. “You do understand it’s  _ **_very_ ** _ slim, right? Barely to no chance of some of your friends waking up, let alone all of them. I’m just telling you now so your hopes don’t end up crushed later on if not all of them wake up.” _

_ Fuyuhiko snorted in response to that. “Hey, all of us woke up with  _ **_our_ ** _ memories and selves intact even though that was supposed to be literally impossible, so we’ll take our chances.” _

_ Byakuya just shrugged. “I was merely giving you a heads up. What happens after has nothing to do with me, really.” _

_ “Hey, c’mon, Byakuya…” chided Makoto. “Let’s not argue, we came here for a reason, remember?” _

_ “Reason? What reason?” asked Akane. _

_ Makoto turned to them. Taking a deep breath he said, “We have to leave.” _

_ The reaction was instantaneous. All of the Class-77 students exclaimed “WHAT?!” while Hajime looked at Makoto in confusion. “What do you mean? We have to go?” _

_ Makoto shook his head. “No, not you. Us. Me, Kyoko, and Byakuya.”  _

_ “But… why?” Sonia looked imploringly between the Class-78 trio. “We still need your help with our friends! Please!” _

_ “It’s not of our own choice. The Future Foundation has been chasing us for several weeks now because of what we did with sheltering you guys. They were slowly closing in on this place, and we thought we had some time, maybe a few more weeks, but then…” He trailed off, looking away. _

_ Kyoko continued in his stead. “Then we found out Kyosuke Munakata was after us.” _

_ "Kyosuke… Munakata…?” Sonia cocked her head. “Um… Who is that?” _

_ “The vice-chairman and second in command of the Future Foundation. Right now, especially, Kyosuke is a very powerful man with many resources at his disposal. And more than that, he is a man with utmost hatred and contempt for despair, for what it did to him, his loved ones and the world. He wants nothing more than to kill you all because of your roles in The Tragedy, brainwashed or not. And with his resources, he’ll prioritize hunting you down and ending you once and for all over anything else at the moment.” _

_ Makoto nodded. “And more than that, he’s relentless in his drive. Once he’s settled on something, it’s impossible to deter him. And since this is especially rooted with the Ultimate Despair, you can expect him to be twice as determined in this especially. He sent us a message, telling us to hand you over and bring ourselves in or he would attack us, wherever we were. He doesn’t have our location yet, but he’s close.” _

_ “So…” Fuyuhiko waved his hands about in a vague gesture. “You three are going… for what? To talk to him? He doesn’t seem really reasonable, with the way you described him…” _

_ “No, not to talk with him.” Kyoko looked at Makoto. “I’m going to turn myself in.” _

_ Before anyone could raise objections in confusion, Makoto continued hurriedly. “The Future Foundation considers me the main culprit and Kyoko and Byakuya as minor accomplices helping me, so they only want me and you guys really. They’d hold a trial to decide what to do with me and get rid of you immediately. So I plan to make it look like I’m going to turn us in so they stop chasing after us, but I’ll be the only one actually going. That’ll buy us time, while they hold a trial for me and try to find you guys after I tricked them into thinking that we’d be coming in. S-so, all in all, it’s actually pretty simple. Uh, any questions…?” _

_ Kazuichi twirled the small braid in his hair around his finger. “So.... you’re gonna make them think we’re turning ourselves in, but it’s only you guys. And that’ll buy us a few weeks? Wait, will that be enough to wake everyone up?!” _

_ “Uhhh…” Makoto scratched awkwardly at his head. “No… Probably not… At best, within a few weeks you might wake up one or maybe two people, but when the Future Foundation tracks you down, they’ll send boats with soldiers to eliminate you. But… I’m sure you guys can fight them off, right?” _

_ “Hell yeah! More training!” Akane was instantly pumped up, cracking her knuckles, while Kazuichi was the opposite, grabbing his beanie in panic and yelling, “What?! No way we could fight boatloads of people! There’s only five of us!” _

_ Fuyuhiko put a hand on Kazuichi’s shoulder. “Sheesh, man. What, are you saying you’re chicken?” _

_ “Uh, against multiple boats of armed and trained soldiers? Yes?” _

_ “Come on, guys,” said Hajime. “We have several weeks. We can figure it out along the way.” _

_ “Yes,” Sonia nodded. “We could also try installing or placing defenses around the island, in case their ships come near! It’s only natural to defend where you… live…” She looked away, clearly remembering about her own kingdom. _

_ Everyone stood around awkwardly for a moment, trying to think of something to say to alleviate the situation, when Makoto cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention, though he looked a bit nervous.  _

_ “So, um, yeah… That’s pretty much the gist of everything… Everyone got that?” _

_ Everyone responded with varying degrees of assent, from Akane’s exuberant “Yeah!”, Sonia’s quiet “Yes” to Kazuichi’s squeaky “Nope!” which led to him being slapped by Fuyuhiko. _

_ “Okay, good. Everyone agrees.” said Kyoko, pointedly ignoring Kazuichi’s protests. “Before the three of us leave on the boat, we’re just going to give you these,” she gestured to the stack of papers in her hands. “We considered just leaving it around, but then decided it’d be better to just make sure you got these before we left. These are the blueprints and schematics of the Neo World Program.” _

_ “Really? Lemme see ‘em!” called Kazuichi, motioning for the papers. “Such advanced machinery… Aw, man, I can’t wait! C’mon, c’mon!” _

_ “Yes, well, that’s not all.” said Kyoko, holding the papers out of his reach for the moment. “Additionally, we also have detailed reports and scans of you and your friends’ information and functions, in case it helps. We have both digitally and physically, just in case something happens to either one.” _

_ “Hopefully you won’t find a way to ruin  _ **_both_ ** _ ,” muttered Byakuya. No one paid him any mind, focusing on Kyoko, waiting for her to continue.  _

_ She looked back at them for a few seconds before she said, “Oh, no. I’m finished. I don’t have anything more to say.” _

_ “...Oh.” _

_ \----- _

_ The sky that day was actually rather bright, which was a surprise. There were barely any clouds, letting the sun shine with all its unrestrained light. _

_ The boat was prepared to sail, and everyone was in the middle of saying their goodbyes. Though, considering they barely knew each other, it ended up being really short and awkward. _

_ Whether they left just because they wanted to go to the trial or to escape the awkwardness, nobody knew, but as the boat sailed away, everyone waved at each other from a distance until their arms were sore. Eventually the members of Class-77 walked back towards the main island, where the pods were, papers in hand. _

_ Akane stretched her arms. “Okay, now that that’s done, let’s get started already, huh?” _

_ “You’re probably not even gonna be doing anything, Akane.” retorted Fuyuhiko. _

_ The gymnast shrugged in response. “Duh, I don’t know crap about machines. But you guys do, so c’mon!” _

_ “Yeah, we will.” said Kazuichi, scratching his head. “But first, Hajime, could you do something about that hair of yours? I’m not used to it, and it kept smacking me in the face earlier from the wind!” _

_ Hajime let out a peal of laughter. “Maybe, maybe not. If I feel like it.” He’d already decided that he would, but he decided to try playing around with Kazuichi for the time being. Izuru mentally rolled their eyes at the dramatic antics of the mechanic as he whined at Hajime during the walk back. _

~

“Okay,” said Kazuichi, standing up and wiping some sweat from his brow with the back of his arm. “Not gonna lie, Hajime, guys, I think that’s enough for right now. My arms are sore as hell…”

“Huh? It’s only been an hour, y’know.” Akane picked at her ear.

Kazuichi glared at her. “It’s been three. Also, you weren’t the one operating and working on all this stuff!” 

“Well, it’s not like everything’ll happen in a day,” said Hajime. “How many pods did you manage to modify so far?”

“I just finished the second one. Right now I’ve done Nekomaru’s and Mikan’s. These things are a piece of work, I tell you!”

Fuyuhiko raised an eyebrow. “What’d you even do? All you did was just open it up, take out some wires and close it again.”

Kazuichi whirled on him. “Hey! It’s a lot harder than it looks, goddammit!”

“It did look very complicated, Kazuichi,” said Sonia. “In fact, it is amazing! To me, it just looks like a mess of wires. That you could manage it without trouble… That is incredible!”

“A-ah,” Kazuichi stuttered, scratching his head. “Thank you, S-Sonia!”

Sonia smiled.

\-----

The three boys lay one the beach side-by-side. Above them, the light of the moon was partially visible through the clouds and smog and pollution.

Hajime blinked. “You guys, as strange as it sounds, I think the sky’s gotten a little… better?” 

“Huh, what? No way.” Kazuichi looked around. “Sky’s still shitty, man.”

“No, I can kinda see the moon, you know?”

Fuyuhiko rolled his eyes and sighed. “Why the fuck are you guys focusing on something like that anyways?”

Kazuichi shrugged. “What? Can’t we focus on some random things to pass the time?”

Akane ran past them, having decided to run around the entire island as a way of burning out her energy and emotions. 

Fuyuhiko sat up for a moment, before changing his mind and lying back down. “Can’t help but think of Peko and the others, though…”

They all fell silent at that, before Hajime patted Fuyuhiko’s shoulder in an attempt at a gesture of comfort. “I-I know. But, as much as it bothers me too, Fuyuhiko, you can’t - you can’t keep focusing on that all the time. It’s not going to happen in an instant, and the more you dwell on it that way, the more…” he trailed off, not knowing how to put his thoughts into words. 

But Fuyuhiko seemed to have gotten the idea. He sighed, looking away. “It’s not that easy, Hajime. That’s like when you tell someone not to think about something or not to look at something. Because when you say something like that, it just makes them do the exact opposite. I can’t just…  _ make  _ myself stop thinking about the others just like that. It’s not like there’s a switch for these things.

He knew what Fuyuhiko felt - there were times where he couldn’t help but think of Gundham and the others, too. The times when he  _ did  _ were so heavy and deep to the point that he just wished they could all just  _ wake up already _ , so he wouldn’t have to feel this pain, this…  _ longing _ along with everything else he was going through. 

But he knew that everything wouldn’t just happen and pass by the snap of a finger. While he wanted their friends to wake up, he was also worried for how they’d react to everything when they did wake up. The pragmatic part of his mind hissed  _ if they wake up,  _ which Hajime pointedly ignored. As calm and accepting as he seemed, when he didn’t have anything to focus on his mind tended to wander towards either of two things - his friends and time in the simulation, and the memories of his time in the real world that had gradually returned - or, well, “leaked” to him from Izuru’s end. And more often than not, it wasn’t comforting. 

Heck, he was sure it was the same for his friends - they all may have been processing and dealing with it in different ways, but the fact was they were all still struggling to come to terms with and  _ accept  _ what had happened, what they’d done. Or maybe accept wasn’t the right word, more like forgive themselves. 

Ha. Like this was something they could forgive themselves for. Even if they fixed all the damage from the Tragedy, it didn’t change how many people they’d killed - or ate, especially with Teruteru being the Ultimate Cook. 

A part of him was glad that Izuru had never personally taken part in the killing or - even worse,  _ eating _ people along with the others occasionally for, well, despair. 

But that didn’t really change the fact that they had been the brain behind many schemes and strategies to spread despair among the populace faster and more efficiently.  _ Sigh… I’m really beating myself up here, even if I do deserve it… _

To think he’d be like this, when the words he said to everyone else when they’d chosen to initiate the shutdown sequence…

_ “Let's leave this place with confidence, and from there we can just create it on our own… The future that we want!" _

Well, they sure were making their own future. 

The confidence, though…

_ Enough. You’re boring me. _

Hajime blinked. ‘Huh? What?’ 

_ Enough of your contemplating and thinking on things that have already transpired. What good does it do to dwell on it too much? It’s pointless and useless and  _ **_boring_ ** _.  _

Oh. It was Izuru.

Hajime tried to say something in response, but a repetitive thumping on his head had him looking to Kazuichi, who was staring at him. 

“What, you spacin’ out?”

Hajime shook his head. Kazuichi raised an eyebrow.

“What’re ya thinking about?”

Hajime paused. Should he say it? He didn’t really want to bring the mood down…

He should say it. He should honest and open, that’s what they were going to need now more than ever if–

“I was thinking about the stars.” 

Izuru mentally raised an eyebrow at him.  _ Wow. How absolutely predictable. _

‘Whatever.’ Hajime mentally told them before continuing, “I was thinking, if we manage to fix the damage and devastation in the world, would we be able to see the stars again?” 

Kazuichi whistled a long note. “Man, that’s a bit way too far-fetched right now.”

“Yeah. We still have to deal with our own problems first, before we focus on stuff like that.” Fuyuhiko turned over to his side, back facing them. It was clear he didn’t want to talk any more now. And it was clear he was still focusing on their friends in the pods. 

Kazuichi rolled his eyes, laying his head on his arms, but offered no argument. The conversation had seemingly come to an end - if it could even be called a conversation.

Hajime sighed. He didn’t even know whether it had gone well or downwards in the end anyway.

\-----

At the rate Akane was running she could barely feel her feet. She knew that her muscles were being strained and that she was probably overworking her body, but she didn’t care. She was so hopped up on adrenaline that she wasn’t paying attention to anything happening physically to her - even running in sand hadn’t impeded her in any way from blazing past it as if she were the wind itself.

A wind that could bring down stone and steel.

Her feet pounded furiously on the ground as she ran, not noticing she was cracking the stone as she did so. Already she could feel anger welling up from inside herself - whenever she remembered or thought about  _ anything  _ in the past, even if it had been a good memory, it would be immediately spoiled by the knowledge of the present, like an unwanted reminder she couldn’t get rid of.

She hated it. She hated it  _ so fucking much.  _ It all made her want to claw at herself, rip her skin off, tear herself  _ apart. _

_ Dammit…! Why…? _

_ Why why  _ **_WHY_ ** _!? _

Akane’s chest hurt, and she knew it wasn’t the running or her lungs causing it.

The memories flashed again, unbidden - her siblings, Hope’s Peak, her friends, her siblings, the Tragedy, her friends, the simulation, Nekomaru, the world, her siblings, Ultimate Despair, the funhouse, her friends–

The memory of her bathing in her family’s  _ blood– _

Her foot caught onto a small rock and Akane gasped sharply as she suddenly fell and skidded face-first into the floor for a few seconds before lying there unmoving. A person would have assumed she was dead by how still the usually active Akane was.

After a few long moments, Akane slowly sat up, rubbing at her head, her fire thoroughly extinguished, and sighed. She was a long distance from the others, sitting near a huge rock mountain.

_ Huh, that’s strange. I don’t remember any mountain from before, except for the one with the Monokuma fa– _

Her eyes widened as she realized. That was where those… Class Trials had been. Where they went every time a murder happened. Where they’d found and watched the killers be executed.

Distantly, Akane heard a siren-like whine build in her ears, louder and louder and louder and  _ louder  _ inside until she snapped.

Moving in a frenzied, animalistic fashion she reached and tore at her hair, pulling out handfuls of it while scratching at her head to get rid of that  _ noise,  _ that  _ goddamn itch in her head– _

_ Get out get out get out get out shut up shut up just shut UP already for the love of— _

Only when she felt something warm and wet did Akane pull her hands away from her head to see them caked in fresh blood and strands of hair. It isn’t hard to guess where the blood came from, even for someone clueless like Akane.

She remembered what the three Future Foundation guys had told her before they left over and over to the point that she’d grown annoyed.

_ “Be careful with what you do physically. It’s not something that can be overcome in a matter of days, understood? You have to go easy on your body.” _

Well, easy for  _ them  _ to say! They hadn’t caused the Tragedy, killed loads of people, or done any of the fucked-up shit she’d done! If anything, they were more like victims or whatever! Hadn't they also been in a killing game? A real one, not a simulation?

How were they supposed to understand how she felt?

It was simple. They couldn’t. They were just throwing advice and words of comfort, thinking it helped, but it also made things worse. It made Akane feel crappier - she hadn’t thought that was possible with how far she’d fallen.

She considered just killing herself and putting an end to it all. Her shitty feelings and situation, what she’d done, everything that had happened. She should just  _ die  _ and go join her family and her friends and see Nekomaru and her siblings again–

She choked on her own gasp as she realized what she’d just thought.  _ What’s wrong with you?! Saying something like that, as if Nekomaru and the others are actually dead! _

Even though she knew they weren’t dead, just... asleep, even though she didn’t know  if when they’d wake up. What scared her more was the part of her that only felt silent acceptance for their deaths. Akane had grown so used to losing people, even before Hope’s Peak. And then she’d dared to hope, but…

She sighed.  _ Shit. I hate this. I hate all of this so freakin’ much. _

Well, she’d already hurt herself too bad, but here, at least, far from the beach, no one would notice or hear her. Mountains and sand had always given her the feeling of an endless, empty field, and now she would use that to her advantage.

Akane threw her head back and screamed, all anger and anguish.

\-----

Sonia had been staying with her classmates who were still sleeping. Even though she knew they couldn't hear her or respond, she’d merely sit there, looking over them and promising that they would wake up soon.

Eventually, she had gotten up to go back to her cottage, when on her way, she’d seen someone else ahead of her, covered in something…? Maybe she was just seeing things. But there was only one girl other than her here right now, and that was…

“Akane!” 

The gymnast turned at the sound of her name and Sonia gasped at the sight of her state. Akane’s face and the front of her shirt was stained with blood, and her hair was matted in it. It trailed downwards, as though it had spilled on her from above somehow. Seeing her hands, which were also covered in blood, Sonia could hazard a guess on what had happened. 

“Are… Are you alright?”

Akane scoffed and spat into the dirt. “What do you think?”

“Ah…” In hindsight, that had been a very stupid thing to ask. Sonia was just trying to be polite, but that wasn’t how she should approach a situation like this. “Do you… need any help?”

Akane raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t say anything. Sonia took that as a neutral answer. 

“W-well… At the very least, you should shower… All that blood… It won’t be good to let it stay and dry like that, i-if it hasn’t already…”

Akane looked down at herself. “I can just wash my hands. The rest isn’t that bad.” 

Sonia started, her jaw falling open in shock before she recomposed herself and spoke. “ _ Not that bad? _ Akane, you’re covered in blood all over! Your own blood, if I’m not mistaken! You have to get yourself cleaned up and fixed! An injury that brings out this much blood must be large or deep at the very least!”

Akane turned away. “Whatever. I told you, it’s not that bad.”

“Wh–  _ Akane! _ ” Sonia stormed forward and planted herself in front of the other, hands placed firmly on her hips, refusing to let her pass.

“Get outta my way.”

“Not until you promise to take a shower and let me assist you afterwards.”

Sonia knew that Akane’s pride and bluntness would not allow her to lie. She had always been upfront with her words and intentions.

Instead of saying anything, though, Akane just stomped over, trying to walk past. Unconsciously Sonia reached out. She felt something wet beneath her hand. Sonia looked to see she’d latched onto Akane’s shoulder, which had blood on it. Said blood was sticking onto her palm by contact.

Akane glared at her. “The hell, leave me alone.”

“No.”

Akane tried to tug her hand off, but Sonia’s grip held. 

“What’s your deal?” growled Akane. “Just stop it!”

Sonia shook her head. “No!” 

“Why are you even doing this? Just leave it!” 

“I’m not just going to leave you like this! Why can’t you let me help you?”

Akane grabbed her wrist. “Why do you want to help someone like  _ me _ ?!” She shouted, her voice rising by an octave as flung Sonia back by the arm. 

“Ah–!” Sonia fell roughly against the hardwood, feeling it scrape and scratch against her skin. She looked up to see Akane looking down at her, and Sonia remembered how Akane always got fired up and would sometimes go on a rant after something physical, like a fight or activity, which had been usually with Nekomaru. 

“God, don’t you get it?” Looks like the rant had started. “I’m so tired! I’m done! Done with everything! You trying to help me just makes me feel more pathetic!” 

Sonia’s jaw dropped open. “Wha…?”

“I didn’t ask for this! I know, I know, we should try to get better, we can’t change the past or whatever so we should move on, but I just  _ can’t _ , okay? Sometimes I find myself thinking I can, but who am I kidding? Something like this is way too big to just throw under the rug!” 

“A-Akane…” Sonia’s voice sounded weak to her own ears. Akane had seemingly gone deaf to anything in the world other than her voice.

“So  _ what  _ if I’ve got some blood on me?! Is that so bad when you look around and see everything that happened?! I deserve much worse than this!” 

“Akane, stop. Please–”

“I mean, come on! I’m a piece of shit! And I hate this! I hate how I can’t do anything! We said we’d fix things, huh?! Well, you guys are doing stuff! You’re being helpful! And what am I doing, huh? Dammit, I’m so useless and weak! I just wanna get this over with!”

“Akane!”

“I’m always the one who loses others! I’m the one who gets left behind in this shitty world! And you know what? Sometimes I even wish–”

Sonia stood up. “Enou–”

“–that I’d just died back there with Chiaki before all this started!”

Sonia’s eyes widened in disbelief and shock. Akane stood still, breathing heavily for a moment before realizing what she’d said and slapping a hand over her mouth in shock. 

Sonia herself couldn’t move. It was like her brain had short-circuited. She registered that she was standing up, but she paid no attention to her own movements, just staring at Akane.

Said person met Sonia’s eyes for a long moment before she looked down at the ground, feeling guilt for what she’d said. It was obvious that she hadn’t intended to say that, but with her emotions running high and screaming everything out it had all just culminated at once.

Akane couldn’t take any more of the tension. Turning, she said, “I-I’m… gonna take a shower.” She felt downright filthy right now, which was an uncommon thing for her.

Sonia merely watched as Akane walked slowly to her cottage, nodding numbly before going into her own. She needed to be alone right now, same as Akane.

Beyond their sight, a pink-haired girl watched sadly.

\-----

That evening in the restaurant felt tense.

It was only Hajime, Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko at the table eating. 

It had already been strange enough that Sonia hadn’t come despite being always on time since emerging from her cottage, but when Akane hadn’t shown up they’d all gotten worried and went to check. The two girls were in their cottages and had both been apparently feeling unwell, though the boys could tell there was something else behind the reason for that. Whatever it was, though, neither girl would say.

The way their conversation at the beach had ended along with the girls’ non-appearance made things awkward. All three of them could feel the vibe - each of them wanted to say something to break the tension, but at the same time didn’t want to be the one to break the silence, so they all just sat silently hoping someone else would do it.

A few times, it looked like one of them may say something, a comment on the food or a casual remark - but then seemed to think better of it and stayed quiet.

It seemed like the day was lost, but when they walked slowly back to their cottages, Kazuichi mumbled, unsure, “Uh… Sweet dreams, you guys…” 

Fuyuhiko snorted. “Oh, please. Fat chance of that happening. If any of us get sweet dreams tonight I’ll eat my shoes.”

“I’ll hold you to that!” 

“You talk like that’s even a possibility right now!”

They glared at each other for a few minutes before a creaking noise and a click snapped them out of it and saw that Hajime had entered his cottage, clearly done with the day.

Eventually they entered their own cottages as well. Neither was inclined to stay outside forever.

\-----

Hajime yawned as he entered his cottage. He was tired today after all the work he’d done and hadn’t been willing to put up with anything else that day, not even Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi’s short bickering.

He unceremoniously plopped himself onto his bed on top of the covers, too tired to cover himself in the blanket despite feeling cold.

_ Astounding,  _ Izuru said. Their voice actually had a measure of surprise in it, though Hajime knew that was faked.  _ That day was so full of tension that I’m surprised one of you didn’t drop dead from how awkward it was. _

Hajime just shrugged half-heartedly. He was too tired to speak at the moment, even if it was only mentally. Rather, he didn’t  _ want  _ to. His entire body, brain included, felt like it was full of lead - heavy, thick lead, oozing around and keeping him down and barely half-awake.

His eyes trailed over the moon lazily. Its white light shone over everything, like the watchful eye of God that couldn’t be evaded. It was the only visible light in the sky considering how meager and darkened everything else was. 

Huh.

That light reminded him of the light back on the examination table.

He hated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess now y'all see the meaning of the title, huh? (if you even bothered to read it lol)
> 
> Me, looking at the crew: okay, Akane's the most random and happy-go-lucky, so let's break her
> 
> Also for why my update was so much later than I said and expected–
> 
> Actually I have no excuse. like yeah I had loads of stuff to do but still. But whatever.
> 
> Tbh I'm hoping the next update doesn't take as long but well, I make no promises. Thank you to anyone who's still reading this fic!


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